Modification of Parenting time

[elaine60]

I filed against my ex for contempt for not facilitating visitation and my ex filed for modification of parenting time. Will we actually have a hearing or how do these cases usually work?

[Ref]

It depends on your jurisdiction. Dh's cases were in Florida, so they required mediation prior to a court date. DH and BM waived the mediation last time around because it would be a waste of time and money. They went to court from there.

Where is the jurisdiction of the case?

Ref

[iceclimber]

in my experience:
usually mediation is mandatory/court ordered.
then if the parties cannot reach an agreement, the judge will refer the issue to an evaluator (either an attorney or a psychologist)
this person will make a recommendation as to whether the modification grounds meet the 'substantial change' test warranting a change.
once the evaluation report has been released, usually the parties will make another attempt at mediation based on the evaluation findings.
if an agreement cannot be reached, the case will go to trial.

with change in parenting time, the other parent does not have a extraordinary burden of proof in order to make the change. however 'substantial change' must be present.


what jurisdiction is the case in?

what is the current parenting plan/visitation schedule?

how long has this visitation schedule been in place?

what are his grounds for modification request?

i sent you a private message..

[Davy]

Normally there would be a hearing on both issues.  Many courts view cross filings as vindictive and may CHOOSE to only resolve one issue at a time.  On the other, the court may view the  issues to be related and will attempt to resolve at the same hearing.  You should be notified by the court of the date and time of both hearings but don't be surprised if the modication is rolled into the contempt hearing at the last minute.

A modification is normally considered a serious legal issue which requires changing a previous court order and is seldom entertained by a court.  "Not working" or "Don't like" doesn't get it.

Normally, a Contempt action will require documentation (ie dates and times) of non-compliance and, whatever, usually results in a warning or a slap on the wrist.  Often nothing substantial will occur until there is a history of non compliance along with multiple contempt filings.

Bottom line is that there are no pat answers to to your questions due to different practices even within the same state, mood of the court on any given day, etc ... it's all on a case-by-case basis.  

I did not send you a private message

[elaine60]

Indiana
Current parenting time guidelines are every other weekend and rotation of holidays and six weeks in the summer, in two week intervals.

Visitation schedule has been enforce since 1999
In 2006 contempt charges were issued for visitation refusal. Issues were settled in attorney chambers with CP conceding the refusal and providing holiday make up time. The issue was addressed at that time by the CP that the minor child then 13 was old enough to decide whether they wanted to visit or not. CP also did not feel that it was NCP right to take child to church even though the child wanted to go.
The CP also thought that they should not have to provide an emergency number when leaving the state with the child.
Before the issues in 2006 the minor child had stated to the CP that it was their wish to reside with the NCP. From that point forward the CP has done everything to negate the NCP in the eyes of the minor child. It was also brought up in the meeting that the CP and the stepparent had made derogatory remarks about the NCP in front of the child when the child was talking to the NCP on the phone. The CP denied it and the NCP attorney asked the CP if they wanted to listen to taped conversations where the CP had.

Documentation for noncompliance was made with the local police, which were called to the residence by the NCP.

[iceclimber]

so you only filed contempt charges for violation of visitation?

do you have a 'notice of whereabouts' and 'telephone access' clause?

do you have 'encouragement of love and affection' mentioned in your CO, in that no parent shall disparage or criticize the other parent or allow any other person to do so, to or in the presence of the children?

if so, i would file contempt on these issues as well.

i don't see that you stated what grounds were mentioned in the other parent's modification pleadings?

what does the other parent state as a reason for making a change to the parenting plan/CO?

not only document with the police. please keep a journal of all events, conversations, parenting time, appointments.... everything.  very factual, with no comments or extras. try to state conversations word for word.

this type of documenting shows a well organized person. it is very difficult for someone to deny doing something when you can recite dates and times.

[elaine60]

No they were filed for noncompliance of the parenting time guideline
For scheduling the minor child in non required classes during the NCP visitation time.
Lack of notice of intent to change or modify the visitation schedule.

The issue of disparging the other parent was brought up in attorney quarters in front of the NCP and the CP attorneys. The CP attorney told the CP that they could not trash the other parents character nor could she control the other parents household.

Currently they both have joint legal custody with one being the primary caregiver.

Grounds for modification is that the minor child and the NCP are placing the CP in the middle because the child wants to make all of her own decision concerning time with the NCP and her wanting to have her teenage life.

Pretty much the CP is teaching the child that a court order means absolutely nothing.

The NCP has always allowed the child to participate in anything that they wanted to. The reason why the decision to enroll the child in classes upset the NCP was because the NCP had scheduled vacation time off to spend the two weeks with the minor child.  In the end the NCP spent there time off driving the child back and forth 120 miles a day for classes that mostly only lasted till noon each day.

[Davy]

I saw that you were from Indiana...I grew up in central Illinois and hob nopped with outlaws many summers in Indiana. And visa versa.

Are you located in a rural community that may be prone not to have or follow any sort of standards  except perhaps state mandated visitation standards which, as far as I know, covers the child until age 18 or so depending on your state mandate.  

Some of the issues you mentioned are probably not mentioned in any court order ... ie emergency phone number when traveling out of state - he's being a horses' a$$.  By the way, I think it is great something was resolved in the attorney chambers by agreement.

To me conflicts over the church are very worrisome may drive a young one away from the church and definitely needs to be resolved keeping the child out of the middle.  That's just me ...others may have a different opinion.

About berating the other parent. If it is severe enough it is damaging to the child and often drives the away from him.  He just promoted himself from horses' a$$ to a$$ hole.

I know it is hard for us parents to swallow but, as you may know, it is often difficult to get a teenager to visit especially if they have a ride they can drive with pride.  It may not have entered your thoughts but you could easily become a gramma sooner than you think.

By the way, I haven't seen any thing in your posts that even begins to reach the level of a mod and the filing more than likely should be considered harrassment..just don't let him feel good about it.  I'm curious about what your atty says !!

[elaine60]

This whole situation rose up because the minor child became closer with the NCP and his partner back in 2003 when the CP was having personal problems with a relationship and left the child in their care for the summer. The following two years the child actually spent almost equal time in both homes. Because of this the child became closer with the NCP and their partner. When the CP finally got their personal life in order and they met someone and got married the CP worried about where the child's loyalties were. Not once did they stop to think that the child could love more than one person. When the child voiced there opinion about wanting to live with the NCP and their partner the CP started to feel threatened and then ensued the bashing of the NCP and their spouse. The NCP talked to an attorney but was told that it would be very hard to try to get the custody modified and he also advised since the NCP was getting to have the child more than the visitation agreement stated to leave well enough alone. Sadly the NCP did not tell the child what the attorney stated so in turn I am sure that the CP told the child that the NCP did not try.

Gone was the happy loving child and in its place became a very emotional and distraught one. In the CP eyes nothing the NCP or their partner did was ever good enough. The CP constantly pushed for their spouse to be a replacement for the NCP in the child life. CP began telling the child stories about the NCP and CP when they were together that was not true. More and more the negation continued to the point that child themselves was beginning to make up stories about the NCP and their partner.

At one point the NCP had a counselor in the home to try to counteract the negative energy that was coming from the CP home. For a while it worked until the caseworker decided that help was no longer needed. The CP waited a couple of months after the NCP and their partner got married and the counselor was no longer around then the negation started again. Even the littlest situation was blown out of proportion. The child learned through all of this the more negativity that they created and the more stories they told the CP the more attention they got. Even if the NCP or their spouse tried to do anything special with the child the CP would immediately try to one up them and the child would come back with the response look what NCP or the stepparent did for me. What you did does not compare.

During all this time the CP kept telling the child that they had only one home, one set of pets and only one set of parents that they had to listen to and it sure was not the NCP. It was programmed in the child's mind that they were old enough to make their own decisions.  The CP would go out of their way to cause trouble on the NCP weekend by instigating the child with negative reactions to anything that would happen. Finally the last thing the child did was to make a bad reference to the NCP partner and the partner called them on it.  The interaction between the child and the NCP partner was blown out of proportion and twisted to make it sound as if the partner was the one who called the child the offensive names.

The CP even got their parents involved and they too negated the NCP and their spouse. The grandfather even took the child to an attorney. I cannot imagine why an attorney would tell a child to go against a court order but then the court order is between the NCP and the CP, maybe in their eyes that created a loophole.
All they have done is taught a child to have no respect for one of their parents. They have taught the child to do whatever it takes to be in control even if it means placing their own parent in a negative light.

The worst part of this whole situation is that the only one that will be hurt is the child in the end!

[iceclimber]

it's terrible to hear situations like yours. i know it is heart wrenching seeing how much this is hurting your child.

the grounds sound more like something he should have filed as contempt (if it were even true)... not modification.

don't forget to check into the jurisdiction and judge. it may prove to give you insight as to how he handles this sort of thing.