Confession--some guilt but not much!

[avalon]

MY DHs ex slapped an RO on him months ago for saying something about our potentially getting custody of his 6 YO and her promiscuity in front of her 17 YO son (not his son-DHs former stepson).

So she ran to court and made up something  abt feeling physically threatened (when DH actually asked her to step away from him) and bam--he couldn't get within 100 yds and cannot call the home even to speak to his son.

she had the opportunity to vacate it but she chose just to have it so there would be curbside drop off and the judge extended that stipulation for a year. We're going to try to get it thrown out, but in the meantime, my DH can't even call his own son after almost 4 years of divorce on the phone.

so we had the 6 YO all this week and the ex's EX-fiance called to wish SS a happy new year. so the 6 YO talked to him on the phone. Then when I got back on he said "oh he seems so timid". This is her EX fiance. I told him well he was in the middle of playing a game blah blah.
So I know his wheels were spinning.

whatever. an hour later (hmmm...coincidence?)--PBFH calls and I see it on the ID so I turned down the volume so SS couldn't hear her and we haven't listened to her message yet!

20 minutes later PBFHs neighbors call ..sort of surrogate grandparents to the SS who we sometimes have to use as go-betweens due to the RO(hmmmm...coincidence?). Haven't listened to that one either!

I know it's wrong, and she still has the right to call her son but darn it if she's going to prevent a father from even being able to call his own son when he wants because he criticized her behavior then she can see what it feels like!!!

guilty, but hey, whatever!

[nosonew]

I thought RO's worked both ways.  IF he can't contact her, she can't call him as well?  Isn't that the way that works?  Hope someone else knows...good luck

[Sunshine1]

She violated her own RO!!

This has happened to us.  PBFH, thought she would get  DH in trouble and arrested by coming over to "talk" things out and blah blah blah.  They took the kids out for dinner together at McDonald's in a public place so they could square away a few things. Everything ended on a good note and they seemed to accomplish a few things.

Not even 1/2 an hour later the cops were banging on the door because she called them to tell them that he was in violation of the RO by being in contact with her.  After they got both stories, they went out to their car and said Ma'am, I will have to arrest you both because you were at his home and are ALSO in violation of the RO!!

Should have seen the look on her face LOL!!  She all of a sudden didn't want to press the issue anymore.

RO means no contact between the parties.  You can have her arrested or at least file a complaint about her violating the order by how many times she called your home and had other people call your home.  We couldn't use other people to contact her either it was stated in the RO as well.  

I would let her own RO back fire on her.....Good Luck and Happy New Year!!

[avalon]

oh my god! could it be?  I have to look at the language of the RO now

wow! that would be great!

thanks!

[avalon]

From the language of the order it just says he's not allowed to contact her or her children or her work, even if she asks him to, but nothing about her contacting him.

So I have to investigate further.

[bananas]

In my state, if "A" gets a RO against "B", "B" cannot contact "A", nor can "B" have someone else contact "A" on "B"'s behalf.  If "B" violates "A"'s order, "B" can go to jail.

If "A" violates her own RO, "A" won't go to jail, but the police can document the fact that OBVIOUSLY "A" has no fear of "B" since "A" is contacting "B".  This can be used as grounds to have the RO vacated.

This is how it works around here.  Usually there is nothing in the RO that restricts the person who has it from contacting the person it's against; but I think it's simply understood that if one person is so afraid of another that they have to get an RO, then you DON'T CALL THE PERSON AGAINST WHOM YOU HAVE AN RO!!!!!!   That just shows that the piece of paper is worthless.

SAVE that message.  If you have an atty you can call, maybe let him/her know about what happened and see what they recommend.  It looks REALLY BAD on her when she initiates contact and has an RO.  If she tries to hammer you guys for violating it, make sure you have that message she left to show that really, she has no fear, and is just using the system to hurt your DH and, ultimately, the child.

[avalon]

Excellent point!!! We do have a lawyer..we'll talk to him on Monday. Hopefully!

Thanks!