jealous sd

[MERGIL]

How do you deal with a SD that is used to being the center of attention and the woman of the house in an 11 year old body?

[stepmomtwo1]

 I guess I'm not going to be much help. My sd ran both her mom's and dh's house until I came along. She was spoiled rotten and hated anyone telling her what to do. Once I was in the picture she didn't get her royal butt kissed and she quit coming with us. It's sad but true,if she couldn't rule the rooste she just didn't want to be here.

Now she's 17 and the ex has pulled her from school  (she was flunking and having a lot of disalpine problems....imagine that). She stays out all night long and the ex never lifts a finger. She has lost all control.

I can't be much help but I know what your going through. It was a long hard road and it's much harder for the child who's parents won't be parents like they are suppossed to be.

[evilstep]

SD was the same exact way--DH was kissing his kids' butts after the divorce (guilt, even though BM was the one who left), and both kids were playing it for all it was worth, especially SD.  When I started pointing it out to DH, he started taking notice of the self-centered, manipulative, spoiled brats that they were becoming, and began behaving like an actual PARENT.  Needless to say, they didn't like it; three months ago, they sat in our home and tore him to shreds, then called BM to come get them, and they haven't spoken to him since.

Naturally, BM is allowing it to continue, because she's been trying to phase him out of their lives all along.  (but when she wants money, all of a sudden he's "daddy"!)  She's trying to be the "cool parent", and is living vicariously through her daughter.  (BM has too many fat rolls to wear the sluttly clothes that suit her personality, so she dresses her 12-year old daughter up like a prostitute, instead! etc, etc, etc...)

Also, SS barely passes to the next grade in school, but it's never his fault--she'll say, "well, that teacher has it out for him", or "she never reminded him about those overdue assignments", etc.  Both kids have picked up this attitude, and they have no clue as to the concepts of accountability, responsibility, or consequences for one's own actions.  We tried to talk about things like that, but they weren't buying it; they get a free ride at BM's house, so that's where they've chosen to be.

Anyhow, I don't know what advice to offer you, but sometimes it just helps to know that you're not alone!  Good luck to you!