What would you do?

[Ref]

For any of you following my story...

DH just got done getting his new parenting agreement worked out allowing for more visitation and some other rights he already had spelled out. The first thing in the agreement was that they have joint custody and all decisions such as medical and school need to be discussed so that a joint decision can be made. CP is to start discussions. She is also supposed to send Dh a listing of Parent teacher days so that he can go to alternating ones.

A few days ago DH got a bill in the mail from BM for SD's therapy. He didn't even know that she was in therapy. SD probably needs it, but who knows what kind of therapist this is.  He also has not received anything from BM regarding the school.

What should he do? Not that he would disagree to SD's need for a therapist or that he could not get a listing of the Parent teacher days, but he is still being cut out of the decision making and involvement by BM. He asked for info on school and some of the extracurricular activities that SD is involved in, but she has not sent anything. He sent all those request through UPS and her signature is on the package.

Thanks friends

[oklahoma]

My husband's order does not specifically state that BM is to provide that information.  When BM is in her "up" cycle, she will pass along information, but since she has been in a "down" cycle for about 2 years now, we just bypassed her.  We contacted my SDs principal and teachers, as well as their therapist, to get records.   One time I spent the day tracking down SDs basketball coach's name and number to find out about her game schedule (only to have him tell me her mom made her quit the team.)  Be proactive about it.  You can't rely on BM, as aggravating as that is since it was ordered by a court of law.

My husband does have joint legal custody.  We have had more than one attorney tell us it is worthless.  At least in this state there are conflicting laws so that essentially, the custodial parent has the final say when parents disagree.  Just another completely nonsensical aspect of the family "justice" system.