Need some input

[Sunshine1]

Ok.  BF and SM have disappeared since last August.  Occasionally she decides to go off her meds and gives us a call.  BF hasn't seen kids since August as well. Super looong story and I will spare you and get to it.

Got a call this evening because BF is responsibile for insurance (but hasn't carried it for quite some time now)  DH has just recently covered my son because we just couldn't keep paying full amounts of dr bills and wait for CS to collect it..yuck.

SM is ALWAYS  the one that calls.  I NEVER get a call from BF EVER regarding ANYTHING.

Everything and anything must go through her.  Due to our history, I refuse to speak to the SM.  I wouldn't have any problem if she was mentally stable, but she isn't and just about anything I say to her gets me a police report in some fashion or another.

Ok now to the point of the post.  SM called this evening and left a very lenghthy message regarding a dr bill that they did not have insurance for.  They are tripping out because in 30 days it goes to collection....funny how urgent the matter is when it is their credit isn't it???

They are threatening me with court because the bill is in BF name.  Of which I did not do.  The hospital asks for who is the primary insurance holder and who is secondary.  I am secondary but the CP.  Hospital bills have been going to BF because he is the "responsible party".  Which is true, if there is no insurance he is responsible for 100% of the bill.

This is not my doing, its the hospitals, and frankly I am not willing to do them a favor after what we and the children have been through with these two crazies.

ok now to my gripes...

How do I deal with the SM interferring?  I am really tired of having to go through her, if I could ever speak to BF alone he is more than cooperative and reasonable when not under her spell. Sometimes I think he has no idea she calls at all.

I have more than enough proof that she is highly interferring and that no contact from BF is ever attempted, every call, every voicemail, and every email is sent and signed by her, actually she signs both of their names to her emails...from her work!  LOL..that one is my favorite.

Anyway anyone have some words of wisdom?  They (well her) are threatening me with legal action but how exactly does she have any say in the matter and why wouldn't their lawyer tell her that?  Confusing a bit.  

[lucky]

Is she threatening small claims or contempt in family?

Either way, she's pissing in the wind to my thoughts.

I don't see any judge having a problem with him being billed -- if that's the way the provider does it.

Keep ignoring her is my advice.

[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]

[Sunshine1]

She never said, but I am fairly sure it would be family.  They think they overpaid in CS and want it back...Bwhahahahah...LOL is what I say to that!  I keep immaculate records of these dr bills right down to the 3.00 parking ramp fee, and if they truly over paid I'd give it back but he is no where near current or "overpayment" of any sort.

I have ignored her to the fullest extent..(can you believe it?)  I REALLY would like to tell her to piss up a rope, but as I said, any contact results in a criminal investigation.

I guess I just needed a vent.  Her communications come in three's, so I expect another voicemail tomorrow and a follow up email. LOL

I will let ya know.

[dsm]

You just keep ignoring this woman.  You've got your records together so don't give it another thought.

Kudos to you for not responding thus far.   Bring it here and vent instead!  :)

==============================================================================

dsm - 35; DH - 39; SD - 16; LO - 10; BB - 3
------------------
3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam,  Snoop & Dagger
------------------
Live, Love, and Laugh

[Sunshine1]

I got an email demanding visitation..(not regular court ordered visitation) just for certain family events.  BF hasn't seen his children for over 10+ months and now is demanding visitation on very specific dates for certain family events ONLY.  No regular weekends, no regular weekday visits, just the ones that are family events. Ie...a couple graduations, a camping trip, and their grandfather's wedding, and a list of dates that will NOT work and that was basically all of July.

WTF??  After 10+ months am I really supposed to just let him have them whenever he feels like it?  You've got to be kidding.  What are these two ON seriously.  What are they some obscure relative we send them off with every once and awhile and then poof gone??  I really don't think so. (before everyone jumps all over me about blocking visitation, I have a mentally handicapped son that it takes MONTHS of rehabilitation of not seeing his father to get him back to normal and his therapist adamently objects to nothing but regular and constant contact or forget it.  She is prepared to testify in her expert opinion.)

I fully expect so more crap over the weekend so expect me back here again!

Oh by the way,did I forget to mention that the demands were sent from SM's WORK email and she signed BF's name to it?  I wonder if he just popped in at the "hospital" she works at and sat down and wrote me that email....ya think? Yeah, not bloody likely..Isn't that forgery AND more proof to her meddling?

[BusyMom]

for the debt.  Just because they are the insurance holder it does not make them the responsible party by law.  Whomever presented the child for treatment is the responsible party.  You more than likely signed a piece of paper to that effect when you took the child in.

Our BM did what you did and we had to go through a real hassle with the hospital.  When they came after my DH for the bill, he kept asking them to present him the documentation that indicated he was responsible for the bill.....they couldn't.  The PB had taken the child in and therefore she was responsible for the bill.  Most health care providers could care less what a judge orders, they want the person that brought that child in to be the responsible party.  

Who is responsible for the out of pocket expenses?  In our case the CP is responsible for the first $250 per year per child and then they split everything over $250 on a percentage basis.

My DH had to threaten the hospital with legal action if they did not take the bill out of his name and put it in his ex's.  It took awhile for them to actually talk to their own lawyer, but once they ran it by their legal department it was out of my DH's name and he got an apology.  The hospital told us they were changing their policy on who is the responsible party for bills....it is now the person who brings the child in to be seen.

As to it being the SM, can't help you there, she really should mind her own business.  I feel bad for my DH that he has to deal with his psycho ex, but my DH would never in a million years ask me to call his ex for anything.

[Sunshine1]

See for the life of me I have no idea why they are billing him. I have never told them to or listed them as the"responsible party".  When I go in, they only ask me who is the primary insurance holder and the information they have is BF.  Then they ask who is secondary, that is me.

I usually get the bills, so this time, not a clue.  I know the laws, and I know I am the responsible party, but like I said, I ain't doing SM any favors.  The only thing I can think of is awhile back SM had called pretending to be me on a few occasions and changed the kids' address so that everything would go to them.  Now BF has lost his 50% Legal medical and their file is on lock down, and the hospital has the CO.  The kids' hospital does follow the CO, so maybe that is it.

BF is 100% responsible for the bills if he does not have insurance on our son.  So I get billed the full amount usually and then I have to pay it, and then submit it to CS.  Well do you have any idea how looooooong that takes to repay a $2000.00 bill that I must pay in full?  That's like he just took out a small personal loan from ME and then he gets to repay it (if he works ever) in 20.00 a month increments.....aaahh hell no!

Yes I am mean and nasty, but I was a nice, accomodating, and kind BM that was able to co parent with the BF 50/50 for 9 years...this year...not so nice, sorry can't do it.