PAS and HAP going on....

[TJRodolph]

Oh, the Magsitrate that heard the case for reducing the child support to compensate for pbfh's failure to pay her share of transportation costs....denied. It was quite clear this Magistrate was all for the poor single mother. His court order stated  how my husband got his child support reduced 2 years ago and the court showed no just cause for doing so. Well yes it does! That old order stated it was because mother couldn't prove she still had child care costs, so the child care portion was reserved. Then the order noted how husband got his interest stayed on his arrears. Well duh, a new MN Statute says that if the non-custodial parent has made at least 12 consecutive monthly payments, the interest can be stopped. And then he further mentions how the old order says there is a remedy of having arrearages reduced if mother doesn't pay. However, he did not comment in the new order that the last order in March 06 says "it is not the court's intention to allow mother the option of not paying her share and her share just coming off the arrears. If she cannot afford to pay, she needs to file a motion." Leppanen really had to keep pbfh in place during the hearing. She was really frustrated with her and all her "tongue lashing" was directed to pbfh.

At least by filing a motion to clarify, everyone will be back in front of Referee Leppanen, who hopefully will be tired of the pbfh's total disregard to her order she issued.....and come up with a permanent resolution.

[marisalimbo]

My husband has 4 children from a previous marriage that we love dearly.  We rellocated to Texas from Southern California because the cost of living was ridiculous.  It has been over a year now and my husband has only seen his children twice.  Once when my parents paid to fly them out here over Christmas and another time when I surprised him with a flight to California because he was so depressed because of his relationship with his children.  He pays over half of his paycheck out in support.  The courts expect him to pay for gas, rent, food and tickets to see his children with $1400.00 a month.  That is all he gets after the government, insurance and his ex take their portion.  His ex gets his tax returns as well because every month he is falling behind by $500.  When she got his tax return this year, my husband requested that she pay for at least half of the tickets for them to come out here.  She refused and said it was his responsibility and she will go to court to get more money from him . . . . you know what? She did.  He is now set even HIGHER and falls behind even more!! We have a newborn son and his support has not lowered yet.  It is such a pathetic system and my husband has to listen to his children tell him that mom says you don't want to see us.  It is sick.  There is nothing you can do but sit on the side lines and hope that one day they will see that your husband did whatever he could to make his life better.  We send his kids little packages at least once a month.  Sometimes there are toys, other times when we have no cash whatsoever, there is just candy.  They have annual passes to Disney Land and Raging Waters that their 'mom' bought them and they enjoy going with mom and her new fiance.  She gets support from her first husband, second husband (mine), and her new fiance and gets to keep her paycheck, too.  Meanwhile she tries to get every last penny. It is such a sad situation because in the long run, the children suffer and the relationship with their father is absent.  I hope it all works out for you.  It is very frustrating.  I don't think there is anything you can tell his son except reassure that you all love him.  One day, he will appreciate and understand the circumstances.

[TJRodolph]

Sounds like you guys are in a pretty rough spot yourself. But the courts look at it like dad is the one who decided to move, so the courts usually make the person who moved away pay for all the travel. But not always. In our case, the mother moved away, but court ordered both to pay 1/2. I think they did that because it took almost 3 years before my husband actually filed a motion in court. In their eyes they think that means he was ok with the move. In actuality, it was because he didn't know the 1st thing about legal procedures or have the money to file or get a lawyer.

Yep, a lot of custodial mother's get the sweet end of the deal. But not all. I am a custodial mom of 3 kids from my previous marriage, divorced him 11 years ago and he owes me about $40,000 in arrears. Never paid, its like he vanished off the face of the earth, changes jobs, uses fake social security number, etc. And he lives in a different state. He has not seen or talked to the kids in 11 years. So while I do not have to deal with the drama of the ex, I also get no financial support at all. However we just found out he is in jail in Texas, and will be expedited end of Nov to New Orleans to face parole violations there. figures! I'll never get any child support for sure now.

If you go in front of the judge again, they are going to tell your husband to move back to CA if he wants to avoid paying the travel costs and that way he can see the kids more.

It just really sucks when the exs cannot get along for the kids sake. It is very selfish. It takes two to cooperate, but only one to make cooperation unsuccessful.