OSD is getting ready to drive

[mistoffolees]

I think it depends on the situation.

I agree that a kid should earn the RIGHT to use a car. I don't think that necessarily means that they have to pay for the car. For example, let's say my daughter turns 16 and has $1,000 saved up and wants to buy a car. All she can afford is going to be a clunker and I would not be comfortable with her driving that type of car.

My response would be that I would buy the car for her, but she has to earn the right to drive it - by paying for gas and insurance and taking care of it. That way, I can be sure she has a safe car to drive that is less likely to break down on her.

I think that either your method or mine can work - the critical issue is whether the kid sees it as a gift (or, even worse, an entitlement) or whether they understand that they have to earn it.

But, in either case, I don't think any parent has the right to expect the other parent to do something that's not spelled out in the divorce decree. My ex is constantly expecting me to buy things and it's unfair and annoying. If a parent wants to buy a car for the kid, they can ASK the other parent if they'd like to contribute, but shouldn't expect or demand it.

[Ref]

My SD doesn't not appreciate any of what DH has done for her financially. She even went so far as to write him a letter stating that he owed her clothes because her mom always bought her clothes in the past and she sent along a catalog with items she wants circled. BTW BM was on welfare and out of work for 10 years while she decided to go to college part-time. SD just doesn't get that DH provided for her 100% financially for most of her life.

BM did ask, but when he said that he needed to know that she is getting better grades (B average), going to school over 85% of the time (she was truant last year because BM allowed it. BM got in trouble), and that SD needed to speak with him more often (Once a month is more than now). BM thought he was asking WAY too much and accused him of cheaping out. She obviously thought SD was entitled.

Sorry a little of a personal vent...
Ref

[mistoffolees]

I agree completely- I don't give in to demands. In fact, there have been times when I would have done something if asked nicely, but refused to do it after ex demanded it and said she was entitled.

I'm not suggesting that you should change your approach. I'm simply saying that some situations might be appropriate for a parent to buy a car for a kid - as long as the kid does something to earn the privilege (whether that's paying for gas and insurance or maintaining good grades doesn't matter much to me). But as soon as my daughter starts saying that she's entitled to a car, she's going to find out how much she likes walking.