Why shouldn't a person file, if other party has already filed??

[nerd]

I have been reading a lot of post where one party files a contempt, emergency order, assault, etc. etc. and the other party post saying, the event acually happened like this, but they got there first and if I file it will just look retaliation!!

Look people...if you have a bona fide reason for filing charges on a party, even if they managed to beat you to the magistrates office, file!

who cares if it looks like retaliation, or revenge!!  We have been there, done that so many times.  The other party would create an incident, we would do nothing, then later be served with arrest warrent for bogus, trumped up or downright pyschologue babble charges.

We finally realized that we did not care if people thought our filing was retalitory, or revengeful or not, we started filing the correct version of the incident and decided to let the courts sort it out.

To not file a charge that is truthful, just because someone else filed a bogus charge first (which is what these troublemakers do) because it "may" look like an retalitoty or revengeful act is just plain not looking after the safety and well-being of yourself.  

I witnessed my daughter nearly run down by her ex's current wife when all she was trying to do was make an urgent letter got to him concerning holiday events and simply asked this woman nicely if she would give it to him, after she explained that it was not anything negative.  My daughter never touched her car, but was lucky she did not get run over.

the ex and his wife went down and filed all kinds of bogus charges on my daughter as soon as the magistrates office opened.  did we NOT file the correct charges because they filed first??   You bet that as soon as we could we certainly did.  we were told by all kinds of people that "since they filed first, it will look like we filed to retaliate"  who the HELL cares!!  NOT to file would be crazy, she tried to run her down with her vehicle!!  

I say file, if you have good reason!  even if they did beat you to the magistrate.

[Indigo Mom]

The first person always gets "their way".

I left monster on a Friday evening.  By Sunday, I had an officer tell me to file a RO on him first thing Monday morning...so, my friend drives me to the courthouse up the street only to find out I went to the wrong place, we drive to the other place (about 3 miles away), low and behold, monster was there already.  I was ONE number behind him.  

I still filed my TRO, but wasn't granted it.  Monsters was.  In fact, when the PJFH (psycho judge from hell) was reading through the file, he conveniently "forgot" to read mine.

I wasn't' "allowed" to speak, after all, poor monster over there, who's beaten partners for years, tried to kill a couple of us, is an "ultra violent habitual perpetrator of domestic violence, was just a shakin' in his shoes cause he was "fearful for his life".  LOL...the asshole.

Anyway, his RO was granted because I'm a big bad abusive boogie man, and it wasn't until he violated his own RO 5 minutes after it was issued did I receive a "mutual and reciprocal" RO.

So, bottom line?  File first. File hard. No mercy sir.  (taken from Karate Kid...but it goes for custody as well)

[nerd]

EXACTLY!  but just because the other party filed first does not mean that you should give up and not file yours because "someone might think you are being vindictive, or retalitory!"  I get frustrated when I read post from victims who say, " It did not happen like that but they filed first and I can't file now because someone will think I am being vindictive."

It happened that I was a witness, the children were witnesses, an off duty police officer was a witness, and the dispatched officer that was called to the ex's home to take the report was also a witness that there was NO DAMAGE to the car and yet they were able to convince a magistrate that my daughter had damaged the hood, broken a windshield wiper, damagaed the driver door, and get this, curse and abuse.  Do you think the magistrate actually went out and looked at the car?? I don't think so!  strange isn't it?

We got our warrent for assault and battery because I had designed a step by step computer printout of the positions of the ex's current wife's car and my car and the exact movements of her car and my daughter during the entire event.  and I will have to tell you that graphically, it showed a pretty awful picture.  Until I showed him graphically what I had witnessed, he wasn't going to give us our warrent.  My daughter had an angel sitting on her shoulder that night.  and when my daughter went to her arraignment, ex's wife was also there for her arraignment!  Both cases will be heard at the same time.  although I do not like that idea, because one of the problems has been a tendency of the court to lump my daughter and her ex in the same pot.  if he starts trouble or disrepects the judge, it is always "you two, or I don't want to see you two here again"  as if my daughter was also the one hauling them into court!  Actually, this is the first time she has ever brought charges against any of his women in 9 years!

My daughter was his first wife.  This is my daughter's ex's fourth wife that we know of.  (although the current wife thinks she is only his second wife, that's what he put on his marriage application, can you believe it?) He has managed to incite every one of his wives, girlfriends, live ins, whatever to violence toward my daughter.     most have come back to her to apologize for their actions.  My daughter could care less about his women, she is happily married and has a life of her own, and just wants these people to leave her alone and stop interferring with her life and trying to kill her everytime she turns around!!

I just think this old game of "I assaulted you, so I will rush down to the magistrates office and tell them you asaulted me, so you can't file or won't file"  leaving the real victim feeling like there is no recourse, or justice, has got to stop somehow.  The courts need to start putting sanctions on people who take out vicious claims.  

[nerd]

Sounds like your monster and my monster are one and the same!!