RE: LETTERS TO CHILDREN

[braveheart503]

I a concerned father with two daughters ages 9  and 10. I'm currently having trouble with communicating witht he children. My phone calls with my children are sporadic due to the screening of my telephone call via caller ID. I have found many ways around this to get CP to answer the phone. I'm currently working to petition the courts.

I really want to write my children letters as well. My question? What it be too much to send certified letters to my children each week to 1.) ensure they recieve the letters and 2.) show the court that I have made many attemps to establish contact?

Present, my children are not updated when I leave messages for them on the voice mail. They are not allowed to retrive messages.

THANKS FOR YOUR IMPUT


BRAVEHEART

[Kitty C.]

Do you have joint legal and contact with their schools/teachers?  If so, you could ask their teachers if you could send them notes at school.  My SS's school has a 'postal system' that the kids run and the staff encourages parents and family to use it also, which is a great way for us to contact SS without interference from the PBFH.  If you do send something, make it light, funny (making cards and using stickers is a winner), but tell them you are always thinking of them and love them.  In this way, they can read it and absord it on THEIR time, instead of the mother interferring.

If you send certified letters, it would still be a matter of the mother taking them to the PO to get them and she can just refuse to do that.

[oklahoma]

Same story here.  My SDs are also 9 and 10.  Visitation was suspended 18 months ago.  Over a year ago, BM sent us an email stating that she would not allow any communication including telephone calls, letters, email, and "third person contact."

We decided to just send letters.  My SDs love to get the mail from the mailbox,and I think they pick it up at BM's house.  So I figure at least there is a chance that they will see Dad's letter before BM does.  We try to make a copy of each letter/email and save it in a file.  If SDs ever ask Dad why he didn't write, we have most of the letters to show.  I looked into other options, but the post office said since they are minors BM can do whatever she wants with their mail, even certified letters.

I have wondered about setting up email accounts for SDs.  I have seen before that parents can set them up for their children and have pretty much complete control over what goes in and out of their email boxes, but I haven't researched much yet.  We could send emails without relying on BM to pass them along to SDs.  Has anyone tried this?  SDs spend time online at BMs house, and I know OSD is well-versed in chat rooms, etc. (I hope and PRAY that BM or school has taught internet safety!!  They do have some supervision--a new rule since their 5-6 year old brother spent about 5 hours straight playing online video games.)

Good luck!!  My husband is currently in joint counseling with his daughters--court-ordered.  The counselor is just starting to realize that SDs have been "indoctrinated"--counselor's term--so hopefully we can make some progress towards regular parenting time.

[SadStepMom]

I can definitely relate.  My step sons are 8 and 10 and everytime DH calls, he gets the answering machine or on the few time BM answers, the boys just happen to be out or asleep.  (asleep at 7pm on christmas, I don't think so)

Anyway, instead of sending the letters certified (which BM won't pick up) DH sends stuff with just delivery confirmation.  It is more documented than just sending regular mail, but no one has to sign for it.

Don't know if the kids ever get the letters and packages, but if they come to DH and want to know why he didn't write or send packages, he will have the proof that he did.

Good Luck!

[nosonew]

Do you have a GAL? Case Manager? if you do, relay your letters to the kids through them.  And request she give them to the kids in person.  If the school suggestion doesn't work, this should.  If you don't have a GAL or CM, have your attorney request one be appointed thru the courts.