This will piss you off-Give your opinion

[heather2662]

Hello all,
I am IL Step Mom, the one that posted "ILLINOIS Can CPS Help?" My name is Heather and some of you met my husband Mark in Chat not to long ago. I posted the original message in a couple different group sites hoping to get as much info as pos.

I got a response from a woman that is an absolute idiot. It's like she stopped reading after the word PAS. To me, she sounds like a bitter
B!T@# that prob. alienated her own kids from their dad because he left her after he couldn't take her S#!T anymore.

I'm not going to respond to her CRAP, but I needed to say something somewhere.  Read my post #2639, "ILLIINOIS Can CPS help?" then READ THIS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK?

Thank you,
Heather-IL Step Mom

******************************************************
From:  bright one
Date:  Sun Aug 15, 2004  8:51 pm
Subject:  Re: [FamilyWars] ILLIINOIS Can CPS help?
ILL Step Mother:
I find your comments amusing. PAS?????????????? Where did that come from? It is not a diagnosable diagnosis in the DM14 edition. Who has been putting these thoughts into your head? These are not your
children, they belong to their mother and father and you are merely there to support them when they are with their father. Do you talk about PAS to these kids? I sure hope not because that would make you the alienator. You should not be talking to these kids about custody or anything else involving the father and mother. They are "scared to death of her",come on, this is their mother, they lived with her for many years, why would all of a sudden they be afraid of her? Your story is many of the "father's rights group" that is bankrupting america by bringing this to the courtroom for endless years of litigation, therapists, counseling, you name, it will happen. I do not know you, but you really need to take a step back from this and be objective not SUBJECTIVE, which is what your questions reek of. You are taking the
father's side and ask yourself this question--why did he have these children with her, leave her and them marry you? There surely were some good aspects to this woman, HIS CHILDREN'S MOTHER. Go ahead and call DCFS, you will find out what countless of other good parents have been put through by this so called "childs advocate agency". Do you really want to be the one to call DCFS on these kids mother? If things are so bad why isn't the school calling them, why aren't these kids who appear old enough to make decisions telling the "right people"? Perhaps there is some truth to your story here, but I do know the law and there is no such thing as Parent Alienation Syndrome. Some crack pot who stabbed himself over 50 times to death thought this up. Now why would he stab himself to death repeatedly if there was nothing wrong with him? Please be objective, take a step back and find out what you are up against if you start this WAR.

[speciallady]

this person sounds suspiciously familiar from another forum
"prettyredhead" from Freeadvice.com

Ignore :)

[MYSONSDAD]

Well, I read it the same way. You are now a part of the family unit. You care about those kids. There are many Step Moms here, and yes, they love and care for the children. More then many realize. They know what goes on in Family courts and they see what fathers face.

Sounds like she needs a 'reality check', or maybe, her bulb is running dim.

PAS is being proven. Look at the recent Bridgett Marks case.


"Children learn what they live"

[Everyside]

"...stab himself to death repeatedly..."?  :-)


Her response would be funny if it weren't so frighteningly typical.

[stepmomtwo1]

If it were signed bleachedblondho I'd swear it was written by my dh's ex. This woman needs some serious help.

[VeronicaGia]

>this person sounds suspiciously familiar from another forum
>"prettyredhead" from Freeadvice.com
>
>Ignore :)

You are right, it sounds just like her.  Except that "prettyredhead" (I have another name for her, but I'll refrain) is famous for having kids with married men and then expecting them to support her along with the child because that's what men are supposed to do.  While of course women are there to collect, not support.

[StPaulieGirl]

PAS is real.  Sometimes it backfires on the alienator, though.  Be patient, most kids see through it after a while.  Never say anything negative about their mother, don't pry into their home life, just be there for them.  If they trust you and there are problems, they'll tell you or their father.

I am concerned with the remark about CPS.  My ex husband filed for divorce first and gave me sole physical custody.  After he found someone to marry, we got our first visit from CPS.  The case was closed out, and I was advised to seek legal help against my ex.  Which I haven't....yet.  Too busy, no money.

For visit number two, please see my post over on the father's board.  Pay attention to the part where ex and his wife visited the youngest one in the hospital.  I don't tolerate that kind of language coming from a child, but she was loaded up on morphine.  

Wouldn't you want to be a positive part of the children's lives, instead of the one they dislike?  My "children" range in ages 10, almost 17, 21, and 25.  I have a grandchild, and another on the way.  

Something you may not know about CPS, and I'm sure my ex doesn't know, is that that agency gets Federal funding when they place children in foster care.  If there is a legitimate reason to remove the children from the mother's care, you and your husband may not be able to get custody.  Of course I don't know the concerns you and your husband have regarding the kids mother, so I can't comment.  Good luck.