Last names

[VAStepmom]

I'd like some opinions on this please.

BM "Wilson" and BD "Blacksmith" were not married when my stepdaughter "Suzie" was born. They decided to give their daughter both last names, hyphenated: "Suzie Wilson-Blacksmith". (They still planned on getting married and dropping "Wilson.") BM also decided (BD had NO say) to give SD 2 middle names: "Suzie Tiffany Anne Wilson-Blacksmith."

That's right, this poor kid has 5 names.

Before school and in Pre-K, SD always went by Suzie Blacksmith, even after mom and dad broke up. Everything's cool. Then Suzie enters Kindergarten. The school says, Nope, Suzie must use her full legal name. She's never had to write out this name before... not the whole thing. She refused to do it the whole school year.  Even lost points on the SOL's because of it.

Then BM got married in March. So now she's not even a "Wilson" anymore.

BM and BD have discused dropping BM's maiden name off of SD's name. Before, BM was cool with it, now she says she's "not sure it's necessary."

I can't figure out why it IS necessary. "Suzie" is the only "Wilson" in this picture now. BM and her husband are "Whatevers" and BD and I are "Blacksmiths."

Do we let it go? Do we petition the court to have it changed w/o BM's permission? Have her state her case to the judge?  

I agree, it seems a little trivial, but it's just one more of those things... you know how it goes.

Thanks!

[joni]

I'd give it some more time and see if BM comes around.  Seems like she's leaning towards dropping it.  Pressuring her too much might make her give you a fight to keep it.  When school starts, the kid will probably be writing her name Suzie B. anyway.

[flewwellin]

I'd say leave the name the way it is.  This child has to learn who she is and if this was the name her mom and dad agreed upon then it's the one she has to go by.  At least she has the same last name as her dad.  Some kids keep their mom's last name.