desperate for encouragement

[brock.jens]

Hello,
I am the father of a 22 month old girl. my ex filed a rstraining order against me alledging physical abuse and drug abuse (both are untrue) I have no history of violence or drug use. Anyway, after serving me with the R.O. she called me and told me to come home. She said that she dropped the R.O. so I went back. About three months later she got mad at me and next thing i knew, i was arrested for violating the R.O. Point being, I never contested the restraining order.

I served 19 days in jail. I was told not to contact my ex and that the r.o. had no stipulation for parenting time. It was more than a year since i saw my daughter again. the only reason i am now seeing her is because she was placed in protective custody after my ex was arrested once for being extremly intoxicated and home alone with my daughter causing a scene. a month later she was arrested for arson in the first degree. she tried to kill herself by setting her house on fire. my daughter was with her grandma at the time

i want custody!! of my daughter. my daughter has been placed back with her mom, DHS still retains jurisdiction though, they both reside in an impatient treatment facility. my ex's second time through rehab in the last year for alcohol abuse and third time in the last 4 years. she has significant issues with alcohol and mental illness.

sorry for the novel!! DO I HAVE A CHANCE???
any insight will be greatly appreciated
thank you

[wendl]

Get an attorney, a good one.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[4honor]

At some point, you MUST take this to court. In almost every state in the USA the child of an unmarried couple is automatically awarded custody to the mother by default. Check your state statutes for any deviations from that base line.

You are considerably behind the 8 ball on this, as the child is 22 months and there is no formal custody established.

You will need:

1) a lawyer - cause you have let this goo too long to undo it easily
2) a paternity test - cause only a mother can really know if you are the father -- and sometimes even she doesn't
3) a parenting plan/Custody order which spells out days and times that you see the child.
4) unless you can get a significant time share with the child, you WILL end up paying child support. Be prepared for that and minimize your expenditures now so that you aren't taking the hit all at once.
5) Read everything on the articles page that you can. The information may not seem to apply based on the title, but the nuggets of information will be priceless investiments.
6) Prayer -- every day for the strength to keep your cool, the courage to face the battle and the wisdom to behave well for your DD's sake.