Is the NCP/CP required to have a bedroom for BD or BS?

[charlie967]

I'm reading a lot where people say that either the NCP or CP doesn't have a room for the child at their house and they(kids) have to  sleep on the couch or floor etc...  does this have to be stated in the court order for it to be enforced or is it even an issue to be brought up?  

Thanks.

[Cookiemomma4]

You need to read your states child welfare information...but as a generic answer, yes it is required for overnight visits.  A child must have private space and their own bed and space for their personal items.  They can certainly share a room with another child or a parent as long as they are of the same sex, there is enough floor space, and the age difference between children is not too great.  They must also have a place to store their clothing.
This can be gotten around by saying that the bedroom is the child's and the parent sleeps on the couch or floor in the living room.  If there is a chest of drawers anywhere in the residence for the child that is covered as well (it doesn't have to be in the bedroom).

[charlie967]

Thanks for the info and where to go to find out.

BS told me that he does not have a room or even a place to put his clothes when he goes to his father's house.  I asked where he sleeps and he said on the couch or on the floor in the living room.  I asked how many bedrooms and he said they have 3.  One for the adults, one for his half sister and one that is a playroom/nursery for the new baby.  I asked where does he put his clothes and he said they go in the dirty clothes hamper in the bathroom...I thought that was cute because when they are dirty they go there.  But he said no on a shelf in the bathroom.  

Just curious what to do and how to go about it.  I don't want to make a big deal about it all by itself.  I would think a judge would think I was being petty if I went to court over this alone but didn't know what BS's rights were on this.

Thanks again!!

[Cookiemomma4]

Well, this could just be me, but what I would do about it would mostly depend on how much time he spends there.  For example, my son may sleep over at his father's home once a month maybe.  I don't care if he has a place for him.  Now if it were a night or more a week I would care.  I personally believe that if this is the only issue, it is not a biggie at all if it is in the NCP household (other than the fact that the child will feel like a visitor which is a shame in his own parent's home).  It is a matter of picking your battles on this one.  I might send a certified letter mild letter making him aware of the law and leave it at that.  If there are other issues then I would bring this up in court along with the other issues... If it is the custodial parent, then there are a few different ways of approaching it and I don't see any of them as "pretty,"  although I can only imagine that a custodial parent without proper room for a child would have MANY other issues that could lead into bringing this into court.

[charlie967]

I'm the CP and he is the NCP w/EOW - standard Friday and Saturday nights.  He doesn't exercise the weekly time anymore..not sure why.  He just said he wasn't going to do it anymore. There are a few other issues with one that really bothers me and that is not giving him the medicine that the dr has prescribed even when I had the doctor write out a note explaining why and when.  The others seem petty - like issues w/clothes, not knowing if he really has a room over there or not and him being questioned about everything that goes on here etc, child support not being on time, not keeping up w/his end of the deal w/insurance (I have primary and he has secondary but he NEVER sends the EOBS to me or follows up.), and changing BS's name on his insurance and benefits at work to something other than what the order order states.  I know I have to pick my battles and I'm trying to figure out if this is a battle or just something I need to get over.  I don't want to stir the waters.  We haven't been to court in 3 years and it seems like everytime we get through w/court there is always that weird period afterwards.  KWIM?  Anyway, this got long sorry about that and thanks again for the advice.  It helps to have an outsiders view.

[Sherry1]

on the couch EOW in my opinion probably isn't a huge battle.  My son has standard EOW with his son and he could not afford an apartment with two bedrooms and my grandson slept on the couch, not a big deal. If you had a 50/50 arrangement and the child was with dad 50% of the time I think having a room would be a huge deal, but not EOW.  

Your son being physically abused at the other parents' house, not being given meals, being left alone for hours on end would be considered big battles.  

It sounds like you have petty disagreements with your ex and the world could be a whole lot worse if they were major disagreements!

Anyhow, good luck!

[catherine]

I always put it this way - what if the NCP took the kid camping every weekend and they slept on the floor of a tent - child services isn't going to get involved in that situation and they most likely won't if a makeshift bed is constructed for the child either....