Re-post: Confused and scared

[smith67]

I am a dad of a now 13 year old daughter who I haven't even spoken to in a year and a half. Her mother Christmas before last hung up on me on the phone and has since not returned my calls or anything. I lived 400 miles away at the time then before I could get down to deal with it I shattered my ankle. To make matters worse, I have a mother who is insane that I was taking care of on the family farm. Well, to make a long story short she attacked me and I had to call the cops. My ex hates my mother, mother hates the ex. Bla bla bla. You can kind of get the situation there.
Before, in the summers, my daughter would come up north and stay with me. Then I would return her for school. I went to pick her up the 400 miles myself, and her mother (not mine...) would make me return her also. No half-way thing.
The last summer my daughter was with me she had come up with lice. They hatched after I took her with me. It was epidemic. My daughter got them from her mothers little brother (who my ex has because my ex's mother was murdered by her husband. The little brother has ha;f of a heart and is handicapped and retarded)  It came to where I had to cut my daughters hair. I didnt shave her head or anything drastic, she just got a nice little bob. She cried because she liked her long hair but sometimes these things must be done.
So my daughter goes back and my ex calls fuming saying "Our daughter is NEVER going up thewre again! YOU CUT HER HAIR!"
Sadly, finances kept me from being able to travel and a holiday and a birthday goes by and now I am Darth Vader. Its not like my daughter and I werent hurting already.
So....now my ankle is healed and I have moved to the neighboring town of my daughter and ex. The number has been changed but they are still in the same apartment. I dont know if I should go over there and just show up after no contact with my daughter for a year-and-a-half (I dont want to blow her out of the water) or have my ex meltdown.

I cant take the day to day pain of not being with or talking to my daughter.

Are there legal steps I should take to make sure my butt is covered if I DO just show up? Or should I initiate contact through some kind of official channels?

I am sooooo scared of losing my daughter. I am afraid she must absolutley hate me and think I have abandoned her which, oh my god, was NEVER the case.

*sorry for typos I dont type that well*