Help...confused and scared

[smith67]

I am a dad of a now 13 year old daughter who I haven't even spoken to in a year and a half. Her mother Christmas before last hung up on me on the phone and has since not returned my calls or anything. I lived 400 miles away at the time then before I could get down to deal with it I shattered my ankle. To make matters worse, I have a mother who is insane that I was taking care of on the family farm. Well, to make a long story short she attacked me and I had to call the cops. My ex hates my mother, mother hates the ex. Bla bla bla. You can kind of get the situation there.
Before, in the summers, my daughter would come up north and stay with me. Then I would return her for school. I went to pick her up the 400 miles myself, and her mother (not mine...) would make me return her also. No half-way thing.
The last summer my daughter was with me she had come up with lice. They hatched after I took her with me. It was epidemic. My daughter got them from her mothers little brother (who my ex has because my ex's mother was murdered by her husband. The little brother has ha;f of a heart and is handicapped and retarded)  It came to where I had to cut my daughters hair. I didnt shave her head or anything drastic, she just got a nice little bob. She cried because she liked her long hair but sometimes these things must be done.
So my daughter goes back and my ex calls fuming saying "Our daughter is NEVER going up thewre again! YOU CUT HER HAIR!"
Sadly, finances kept me from being able to travel and a holiday and a birthday goes by and now I am Darth Vader. Its not like my daughter and I werent hurting already.
So....now my ankle is healed and I have moved to the neighboring town of my daughter and ex. The number has been changed but they are still in the same apartment. I dont know if I should go over there and just show up after no contact with my daughter for a year-and-a-half (I dont want to blow her out of the water) or have my ex meltdown.

I cant take the day to day pain of not being with or talking to my daughter.

Are there legal steps I should take to make sure my butt is covered if I DO just show up? Or should I initiate contact through some kind of official channels?

I am sooooo scared of losing my daughter. I am afraid she must absolutley hate me and think I have abandoned her which, oh my god, was NEVER the case.

*sorry for typos I dont type that well*

[Bolivar OH]

Look under "Visitation issues" with a topic --
Subject: "non custodial wants summer visitation"
--- Peanutsdad does a great job of outlining a plain of action.

[Bolivar OH]

OR TO GO DIRECTLY THERE CLICK ON:

http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=102&topic_id=1089&mesg_id=1090&page=

[Peanutsdad]

 With a year and a half having gone by without contact, you are going to moe than likely have some problems. BTW, does your decree state that current addresses and phone numbers must be kept up with on both parties?

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vassiliou.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner06.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-navarre.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner01.htm

THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand01.htm - size 40kb - 20 Oct 2003
12. Mediation And Parental Alienation Syndrome by Anita Vestal
This article looks at parental alienation syndrome (PAS), which is a complex manifestation of mental and emotional abuse resulting from conflicted parents fighting for custody.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vestal.htm - size 52kb - 20 Oct 2003
13. Recommendations for Dealing with Parents Who Induce a Parental Alienation Syndrome in Their Children
PAS is commonly seen in highly contested child-custody disputes. The author has described three types: mild, moderate, and severe, each of which requires special approaches by both legal and mental health professionals.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner02.htm - size 54kb - 20 Oct 2003
14. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Studies of target parents who are falsely accused of abuse report they tend to be less disturbed than their accusing counterparts.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand12.htm - size 53kb - 20 Oct 2003
15. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand11.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
16. Parental Alienation Information Archive
All the information on the SPARC site regarding Parental Alienation has been consolidated on this central reference page.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pasarchive.htm - size 17kb - 20 Oct 2003
17. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II) (cont.)
In the following case, the accused father was an officer in the military. Testimony on PAS by the defense expert provided the judge and jury with some alternative explanations as to the reasons the children accused their stepfather of abuse.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand13.htm - size 31kb - 20 Oct 2003
18. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand02.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
19. Expanding the Parameters of PAS
The newness of the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) compels its redefinition and refinement as new cases are observed and the phenomenon becomes better understood.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-cartwright.htm - size 32kb - 20 Oct 2003
20. PAS: How to Detect It and What to Do About It
Although parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a familiar term, there is still a great deal of confusion and unclarity about its nature, dimensions, and, therefore, its detection.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-walsh2.htm - size 24kb - 20 Oct 2003




One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.