A "human" moment

[greatdad]

I know holidays are the tougest for those of us going through divorce. I just wanted to get this out.
Since I never wanted the divorce to begin with, it still seems like such a waste. Still would try ( if STBX was healthy and dealing with core issues).I was always the one wanting to find a better way.STBX refused to even talk to a mediator, went staright to divorce. STBX is surrounded by( by choice) people who only reinforce the negative so anything I say is either not  really heard or treated as a trick. Guess it is easier for STBX to try and be perceived as a victim than to take responsibility and do the hard work.
STBX seems so consumed with vengence and placing blame that is missing the big picture THE KIDS.
I guess what I am saying is that while most with sole custody may gloat I do not. It is truly the best for the children in this case, but I remeber being the one in the other position and I know the pain that I felt.Because I still care, I hate that another has to feel that , ESPECIALLY when there is a  choice.
 I see the kids enjoying things and still wish STBX was there to see it too.I am told that I should stop worrying about STBX, as STBX doesnt share my view of things. Just way easier said then done. I still pray for a miracle, even though the trust is sooooo badly eroded on both sides, as STBX had at least one "relationship" after  the split. Guess it just seems so sad. Problem is it takes just 1 to ruin a marriage and 2 to make it work.

No one wins except the lawyers !