Laid off

[awakenlynn]

My husband was laid off almost a month ago.  We are scheduled to go to court in about 2 weeks, our attorney is going to ask for a continouance(sp?).  We had the money saved up for the flight to TX, but it came down to the tickets or paying our bills and keeping a roof over our head.

My husband came home yesterday and found a job.  It's 54 cents less than what he was making, which comes out to be about $20 a week less. So do I not pay the insurance, electricity, phone or mortgage?

My main concern is whether the judge will be likely to grant it, hopefully so, since we won't be there.  We have looked at airplanes, driving, bus and train, they are all way out of our price range right now.

My other concern is for the child support.  We have been paying faithfully, but ex played some games and 2 states are saying they have jurisdiction and neither will back down.  So we pay support to one state the other creates an arrears and vice versa.  IL made some errors with the child support so we are trying to get those corrected and the judge will not allow the TX receipts to be counted for support, he wants us to go to court there and tell him why we haven;t been paying IL and to walk him through every payment.  When we have that corrected, ex actually owes us about $400!!

Then in Tx, they won't abate the summers which is in the court order because, even though it is registered in TX they refuse to look at it.  IL doesn't give signed judge's orders and haven't for years.  They hand you an "Order" which is found online that TX considers to be judge's notes not an order and refuses to accept it.  TX then was pulling child support from 2 employers at one time (husband was working for a temp agency to keep our income to match what it was last year) and once they have it corrected, when we finally DO go to court, ex will owe us close to $600 there!!!

When we do go to court we should be able to get a reduction in support.  I looked at what my husband's yearly income is and we have been paying about $40 a month too much.  I know that doesn't sound like alot, but when you live paycheck to paycheck and only have $50 a WEEK (for a family of 5) for grocery bills and your son is being tested for learning developmental disabilities, that $40 is alot.  On top of that, we have to find the money for SD Christmas visitation, which will be about another $500-$600 we need.  I keep my fingers crossed that the judge will continue with the current court order and allow our summer child support to be abated, given the HUGE difference in ex's yearly income and ours, it is the onely way we are able to pay for summer activities for the SD and her siblings, and make up for the difference in our taking care (food mainly, clothes, and medical) of SD instead of ex.  We are also hoping the judge will take into consideration the travel costs for flying SD here twice a year out of the 3 times she comes to visit (Christmas/Thanksgiving-alternating and spring break).  Ex pays for the summer visits which is usually by visiting her mother and making her mother keep SD until hubby picks SD up and drops her off.  Last summer ex flew up to her parents the day after visitation ended, refused us any extra time (grandma had to pick SD up) and then payed for 2 tickets to fly them both home 2 days later.  Would be nice to have that kind of money.

I am so frustrated with it all.  We have followed the orders and everything, now ex wants to vacate the IL order and have TX put in place.  If they do that we will lose 3 weeks of visitation.  We only have 3 years of visits left before SD is 18.

Thanks

[MixedBag]

good luck...

[mistoffolees]

Pick your battles wisely.

3 weeks per year for the next 3 years is 9 weeks out of the child's entire life. Do you really want to spend all that money and drive yourself crazy over 9 weeks?

The child support issue should be a relatively simple matter - and may not need an attorney.  

Personally, I'd spend as much time and energy as I can on the kids staying in touch by phone, email, etc. and not worry about 3 weeks per year for someone who's 15, anyway.

[jenjen]

Just try and keep your child support current thats the only thing that the states care sbout is "there money"..please dont let yourself go into arrears
cause if you do you'll never be free. communicate by phone, e-mail etc.. at 15 this child is going to be busy with high school and maybe a part time job...never know child may get on a plane and want to finish high school living with you..you'll be amazed of the power of prayer