daughter has an authority problem

[mj]

HI,

My wife and I have a 16 year old girl that appears to be of the sociopathic personality type.  As much as we love her and have tried to provide for her, (nice room, car, insurance, license, etc), she does not abide by our rules.  We tell her be home by 10, she  doesn't.  The car is to be used only for to school and back again, doesn't listen.  Be home at 12, she doesn't come home at all...then stays out the next day until midnight.  Will not clean her room.  They all sound petty, but after years of this, it gets really old.  When will something happen that causes real chaos in our lives.  We wouldn't get her a cell because we knew the end results...so she went around us and asked her uncle to get her one, oh, and she'd pay the bill. well, he got bit in the you know where with a couple months of over $200 phone bills.  HE took the phone away and we said...we told you so.  Not 24 hours later, her grandmother was convinced she needed a phone...so six months later...she gets bit.

We're lost for what to do.  Are we just sick lousy parents?  We sit down and have dinner every night with our kids...the 16 year old has eaten with us 3 times in the last 8 months...  She has had six jobs in the last year...the bosses are jerks...they don't know what they're doing.  What's wrong with being late every day?  Dress code?  I'll wear what I want.  One thing after another and it always seems to deal with authority.  

I don't know?  what's my question?  At this point I don't even want to post this as it doesn't make sense.  anyway, if you have had or know what I'm talking about, please comment.  

tx.

[MyAngels4]

My SIL had a problem with her 17 yo DD a couple years ago. She wouldn't work, wouldn't help pay for car insurance, or gas, so my SIL sold her car, lol, as she had bought it in the first place.
Just so happens, I was looking to buy my hubby a car for Fathers day, so it worked out for both of us. Since my neice has turned 19 she is now working, but still doesn't have a car, but has learned that SHE has to pay for it if she wants it.

HTH,
Myangels4

[mj]

Thanks.  Yes it does help and actually, I am in the process...if only it could work out so the neighbor would buy it so she could see it across the street!  

We have even considered emancipating her...but I don't think it would work because she has no job.  She can't keep one.  My oldest daughter told me to sell her car as well, then maybe she will think twice about listening.  It so weird that one would actually think of doing something like emancipating a sibling, but we're just waiting for something bad to happen that is going to cost us. What do kids do when they stay out until 5 AM?  Drink? Do drugs?  Drive around...get in wrecks, kill the passengers...I couldn't imagine having to face a parent of a child killed in a car my daughter was driving.  yup...the car is going, going, going