journal

[Bubba]

Dear Soc

I have temp. physical custody.
My stbx has asked daughter for her diary.
My daughter puts stuff in there every day.
Going thru alot of alienation, and stbx asked for her diary.
She is up to something, but do not know what.

1.  We are going thru GAL and wondered if the Gal could use a child's
personal diary as fact against me.  (I have no idea what's in there)

[socrateaser]

>Dear Soc
>
>I have temp. physical custody.
>My stbx has asked daughter for her diary.
>My daughter puts stuff in there every day.
>Going thru alot of alienation, and stbx asked for her diary.
>She is up to something, but do not know what.
>
>1.  We are going thru GAL and wondered if the Gal could use a
>child's
>personal diary as fact against me.  (I have no idea what's in
>there)
>


What diary? We don't have no stinking diary!!

[Bubba]

I guess I didn't understand your response....
They do have the diary...daughter gave it to mother, and was
taking it to Gal....:o
Can't say they just don't have it because they do have it.

[socrateaser]

>I guess I didn't understand your response....
>They do have the diary...daughter gave it to mother, and was
>taking it to Gal....
>Can't say they just don't have it because they do have it.

well, unless the GAL determines that the child's expectations of privacy are more important than the contents of the diary, there's little you can do.

[NancyLou]

This one has really been clawing at me.

I feel so badly for your daughter that her mother is willing to do anything, including invading your daughter's privacy, her most personal thoughts, to win custody.

Were it me, I would try to use the mother's actions to show that she has no more concern for her daughter's well-being than this, that she thinks it's more important to use her daughter in this manner than it is to respect that she needs a part of herself kept to herself.

Speaking as a woman who used to be a teenage girl, this girl now has no place safe to go to unload, if you will.

This poor girl is going to have major trust issues and I hope she's in therapy now.  Your stbx is destroying your daughter and any faith she might have in the oputside world.

Also, I'm not to sure about the motives of the GAL if they are taking this diary and reading it.  I would be aghast that a supposed loving parent would do this to a child and wouldn't accept it from the "mother".  Isn't the GAL supposed to looking out for what's best for the child?  Does that include a parent who is willing to read her daughter's journal to gain a victory?

[Bubba]

   
  I really don't know if the Gal actually read this, but my pbfh has offered it to him, and if he refuses this, she will just take snippits out  it to make me look as bad as possible...this is just a small tidbit of what this thing is ready to do...it's a living hell....

[msme]

If you can talk openly with her about things, I would first apologize for the invasion of her privacy & assure her that you would never ask her to share that BUT since her mother has made that choice, is there anything that you should know about that is in there?

Tell her you respect her right to be angry or sad or any feelings she has & that you realize that having a journal to dump these feelings in is very important.

Tell her that you won't be angry about anything she wrote but if there are things that might be considered hurtful by someone else, you would rather hear it from her than get slapped with it in a court room.

If she won't tell you anything, oh well, but she just might give you a heads up as to what might be coming. Either way, just keep telling her how much you love her & how sorry you are that she has to go through this.

I think I would also buy her a new journal with a lock & tell her that she doesn't have to tell anyone that she has it & you certainly won't.

Good luck & God bless
msme

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