Took your advice...

[4honor]

and went and got SS as per court order. BM came down for SS at the "end" as required and DH told her he would go back for SS tomorrow for regular visitation. She threw a fit and stormed off. Then came back leaving SS and then DH opened the can of worms... is SS in counseling? has mediation been initiated? etc. BM did the "I paid all my money to my lawyer" dance and "i have no money for follow through."

So I threw back that we have asked before for us to work it out... long story short, BM is being reasonable... and will be until her atty comes back from vacation. So I have a week to get a workable parenting plan past BM. Her catch phrase is "let's be flexible" and DH's is "show me where that's written in black and white."

We have standard forms in WA, so I have that. Basics are agreed to.

I need wording for :

1) a succinct clause for flexibility  for the purpose of SS's opportunities, including what defines a "good faith effort" and what is reasonable notification when asking for a trade of weekends,

2) how to allow for SS eventually having a life of his own(age 13 now) and

3) anything else to alleviate conflict before it arises from BM who can see no good in DH and DH who cannot trust BM to keep her word.

[nosonew]

My ss is 14.  Our order reads like this:

"Child to have eow with ncp.  If child has sports, school events, or important social activities, child to call ncp and work out exchanging the weekend parenting time.  Both parents are to cooperate with adjusting the parenting schedule for the best interest of the child".

I would also include in yours since trust is an issue with cp:  "If weekend visitation is missed and not made up within 30 days , 5 days will be added to ncp summer visitation.   This would be ongoing, and if 4 visits are missed and not made up, another 5 days will be added, etc. And also one or all of these:

-"If 2 weekend visits are missed and not made up within the 30 day time allotted, the next school vacation goes to the ncp regardless of schedule. This would continue throughout the year so that parenting time is allotted to the ncp during a time in which school is not in session, sports are not being played, and social activities can be put on hold."

Just a suggestion, nosonew

[socrateaser]

>I need wording for :
>
>1) a succinct clause for flexibility  for the purpose of SS's
>opportunities, including what defines a "good faith effort"
>and what is reasonable notification when asking for a trade of
>weekends,

Both parents agree that they shall use all due diligence to maximize the amount of time that the child spends with the other parent. Examples of such due diligence shall include, but are not limited to: voluntarily extending parenting time to the other parent when such time would eliminate an unnecessary repetitive transfer of the child during any 48 hour period; not permiting the minor child to engage in any activity that might be reasonably likely to interfere with the other parent's court ordered exercise of parenting time, except with the prior express written consent of the parent whose parenting time will be impaired; offering to trade parenting time opportunities whenever it appears likely that such a trade will increase a parent's consecutive days of parenting, except that no such trade shall occur unless evidenced by a writing describing the conditions of the trade and signed by both parents.

Both parents agree to permit the unlimited recording of any and all communications made between each of them, or between a parent and the minor child, without further notice beyond that which is given here in this parenting plan, and regardless of the communications medium, whether person to person, electronic or otherwise. Any relevant evidence produced from said recordings shall be admissible in subseqent legal proceedings.

Proof of the failure to act in accordance with any of the above provisions shall be deemed a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child's best interests, and shall be sufficient evidence to warrant a de novo custody hearing.

>2) how to allow for SS eventually having a life of his own(age
>13 now)

The kid will let you know this soon enough, and there will be little that you can do to stop it from occuring.

>3) anything else to alleviate conflict before it arises from
>BM who can see no good in DH and DH who cannot trust BM to
>keep her word.

No comment other than that all is fair in love and war.