A Thank You to All

[RainGirl]

For those of you who have been following the other thread and for those of you who have offered you input, thank you.  I am reasonably certain at this point of what I need to do.  While nothing is set in stone, this is life and we tend to learn as we go.  As a mother, I can only hope that the decisions I make for my child are wise ones and the best possible.  After that, I guess it is simply time to hang on tight and see where life heads us.

I appreciate the time and emotion that you all have put into this and think it is wonderful that there is a place where people can come to seek answers, even if they are not greeted by what they want to hear.  The response that I got was overwhelming and it is comforting to know that there are so many out there still willing to answer the call of those in need.  Thank you.

[Stepmom0418]

I dont post alot on here but I wanted to let you know that I do understand your fear. As I said in my other post I have been through the same kind of thins and I was scared to death! I also want to comment about what you said about genetics. I was a child that didnt know my father untill I was age 14 and it took me years to come to terms with my mother about why she didnt let me and my dad have a relationship. Ok now I am older and I do understand why my mom did what she did but as a growing girl I needed my dad regardless of if he was an alcholic or not. I despised my mother for a long time because of her choices and it took me years to forgive her. I always wondered what my dad looked like, acted like, and even if my mother was telling me the truth about him. It was hard! I always looked to older men for comfort and I ended up pregnat at the age of 14. (Just after I met my dad for the first time) Yes, I was let down and I was hurt because he wasnt what I had hoped for but that was my dads fault not my moms.

I read one of your other posts and you made the statement that you need to talk to the father. Yes I agree you two need to sit and talk about  your child and try to work this out! For the childs sake!! Good luck to you and your children!!

[Brent]

LOL, I have to give credit where it's due- it probably took alot of courage to come here with an opening subject line of "I AM the evil female....". Or maybe it was your intention to be provocative, I don't know.  

In any case, I honestly believe you love your daughter, but I don't think that you have her best interests in mind. Even though maybe you believe in your heart you do, I have to differ.

Believe me, I understand where you're coming from, and people hate to be told they're wrong, but I think you've made a real, live mistake in how you're approaching and handling this whole thing. It all seems so clear and impossible to be wrong about this right now, but you're not the first one to come down this path- people here see this all the time. Somewhere down the road, between 5 and 15 years from now you'll realize that the people here weren't just trying to hammer you. They were thinking of your child, and just trying to prevent another goddamn 'parentectomy'. Just once, just once to keep that shit from happening to a child, and this entire web site would have justified its existence forever. But no, you're gonna do what you're gonna do, and next week another person just like you is gonna come through here and we'll all end up pissed off and disheartened because they too will decide that the other parent "just isn't important" or whatever.  And no one and nothing is gonna change their mind, by golly, they know what's best despite the fact that they came here looking for advice on ways to work through this shit. Just like you did. And no one is going to change your mind because your mind is already made up, right? So fine, go do your fucking parentectomy.  Thanks for stopping by and reminding us the reason why we're here- because there are parents like you out there who just don't get it. When your child develops various emotional and behavioral problems later in life, look in the mirror and congratulate yourself.


Move along folks, nothing to see here. Just another selfish, unthinking, insecure custodial parent who would scream to high heaven if she were ever treated like this.

[RainGirl]

Brent,

No, I don't believe that people here were just trying to hammer me.  Many people have tried to help.  For those who took a more...lashing stand against me, I do not blame them.  They do not know me and I will not take it personally.  As far as any animosity goes, I will accept that and not judge others harshly because of it.  It is often those topics that touch us the most intently and we are most passionate about that sparks some of the emotion I have seen on these boards.  I probably do remind many of these posters here of a person they had to fight with to get what they felt was right...someone that there were many years of bitterness between.  So no, I will not blame anyone here for acting passionately.  Kids are a wonderful cause to be passionate about.  Instead, I shall find the bright in the bitter and be able to appreciate that there are also men out there who are passionate and driven and willing to stand up for what they believe is best for their children.  

I was sincere in my thanks.  I'm glad that there are place where people can turn for help and support and I am thankful for the many replies, both helpful and heated, that I have gotten.

[RainGirl]

I realize that the conclusion that I finally posted may not be one that everyone can agree on, but I do believe it is at least a step towards understanding the other side of things.  Perhaps, one step at a time I will eventually get there, perhaps I never will.  But this is at least a first step.

[darkspectre]

"Perhaps, one step at a time I will eventually get there, perhaps I never will. But this is at least a first step."

You just do not freakin' get it. No one gives a sh*t whether or not you "will get there." It isn't for you to "get there." You have no more say-so in that child's life than her father, and I hope to God he takes your ass to court and runs you through the ringer for being the selfish, self-serving bit*h that you obviously are.