AT WORK DURING SCHEDULED VISITS"

[lovemygirl]

           My ex works during the sunday of his scheduled visits with our daughter. It upsets me be becuase he wont tell me his work schedule so that I can work around this issue. She spends time with his wife at home, it wouldn't upset me except for the fact sometimes my daugher just wants to come home and he tells me that his wife has a right to see her and the fact that it's she not a paid babysitter make it so I don't have right of first refusal. (in our decree both parents get it) I told him I don't mind our daughter being there with his new wife but if she wants to come home she should be able to. I think it's silly because those visits are there for him to spend time with her. He also refuses to give me a work number or the location of the work place when I openly told him where I work and the number. Even if the law says that I don't have to I'd rather he have it incase of an emergency...


There is no light at the end of the tunnel with this schedule, I've tried to find out his work schedule so I could make arrangements with him to be there when she's visiting but he isn't interested in this at all. The step mom doesn't bother me for the most part, I certainly not afraid of her "getting close" to my daughter.

My questions is, is it right that the child is visiting the step parent more? Is that really what the visits are for? I thought they were for him. That's how are decree is written....

Help!

 

[socrateaser]

>My questions is, is it right that the child is visiting the
>step parent more? Is that really what the visits are for? I
>thought they were for him. That's how are decree is
>written....

I don't do right and wrong. Moral judgments are for you to make. I just do lawful and unlawful (which happens to be exactly equivalent to my personal moral code, but most people have a different morality system than what the law says). Anyway...

The step mother has NO rights concerning the child, except as delegated by the father. If father impliedly or expressly appoints stepmom guardian in his absense then she has the right to exercise custody in his absense. But, this is where it gets murky.

Different States define terms like custody, visitation, physical responsibility and parenting time differently. If the order is for visitation, rather than secondary custody, one could argue that visitation is a personal, non-delegable license, rather than a grant of complete custody and control for a limited period of time.

So, I would need to read your custody orders and the law of the jurisdiction involved to give you a solid answer, and even then, we might need a judge to rule on the issue.

But, if the order has a right of first refusal, that indicates to me that the correct interpretation is PROBABLY that if he cannot exercise PERSONAL control, then you have the right of first opportunity. The fact that stepmom isn't being paid is irrelevant.

Tell your ex, that if he doesn't start permitting you to have the child when he is not physically present that you will file a contempt motion against him to force him to regularly supply you with his work schedule

You need to do it in writing. And if he doesn't comply, then you need to file, and have the judge spank him a little. Don't be a pushover -- it's your child too.