How to protect yourself against false allegations?

[Kat87]

Dear Socrateaser,

I am a SM who has 2 skids, ages 17 (SS) and 13 (SD), my DH and I are primary custodians of the children, though he has a shared parenting agreement with their mother. BM lives in Oh, we live in SC. The skids came to live with us 4+ years ago after their mother had them living in a battered woman's shelter alleging abuse against everyone in their family, and after admitting herself into a psych hospital with thoughts of harming herself and the children. That was in May 1999.

After the summer visitation with their mother in Aug 2002, their mother petitioned the courts for custody back, as the shared parenting agreement was to be a temporary measure, as she was having housing trouble.

To date, we still have not reached resolution, with the big sticking point being that we wanted BM to have a comprehensive mental eval stating she was even competent to parent the children on a full time basis. BM was recently readmitted to the hospital for paranoid delusions. Her attorney has told our attorney 3 weeks ago that she was going to file for a dismissale, but it still has not been done.

2 weeks ago, BM called SD's school alleging sexual abuse on DH. The guidance counselor talked to SD, found the allegation unfounded. On Saturday, BM called the local police authorities alleging that DH was starving the children, neglecting the children, as well as abusing them. The officer did not find any basis to the allegations.

Which leads me to my questions:

1. How can we protect ourselves from these false allegations?

2. Should we be proactive and hire an attorney HERE in SC in case she was to get someone who believes her and takes away her 2 children and our 3 children together?

3. Should we call CPS here to give them the heads up that she's delusional?

4. What would you recommend to hold her accountable for these false allegations?

Thank you very much for your time.

Kathy

[socrateaser]

>1. How can we protect ourselves from these false allegations?

You should be asking the OH court to make an order relinquishing jurisdiction over the custody issue to an SC court, on grounds that the child are now well established in their new State after 4+ years, and a return to SC and BM is not in their best interests.

As for the allegations, you could offer to submit to a polygraph and a full psychological exam. But, personally, I can't imagine an OH judge changing custody now, unless your attorney is dumb as rocks.

[Kat87]

Dear Socrateaser,

Does it matter that my husband is military and that we moved to SC in July from RI? BM lives in Ohio, (location of original custody order from divorce and subsequent shared parenting agreement). Our attorney had made it seem difficult to have a change in venue, as DH is military, and we will move again, probably not for another 2 1/2 years, but because we will not be staying "put".

Also, the kids have wavered back and forth between wanting to go back and live with mom or stay with us. So, I didn't know if that made a difference.

Thank you again.

Kathy

[socrateaser]

Well, you've been in SC for six months, which is all that's legally required for SC to obtain jurisdiction. And, the fact that the kids move with the custodial parent is not, by itself, considered a substantial change in circumstances (lord only knows why).

Anyway, I'm just a little more aggressive than your attorney, but he/she knows the judge involved (or I would hope so, because if not, you should have a different attorney).

If the kids are against you, that's a much bigger problem, independent of any other consideration.

On balance, I'd still say you have the upper hand. The court doesn't know when you're gonna get new orders, and I doubt seriously that a judge would use the fact that you are defending your country as a rationale for changing custody -- that would look real bad in the local news media.