Custody question.

[Romersgirl]

Soc, I wrote this to you last time:
"Background: BM decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore so she would give my soon to be step kids up. However she would not give them up to us, she would give HER custody up to her mom. On the advice of our attorney we let this happen bc he said it was easier to get custody from a 3rd party in lieu of the bio mom. Well this was about 5 months ago. In that time she has only seen the kids a few times and does not stay involved. We are discovering problems with the younger child and starting to getting him evaluated for learning and behavioral disabilites.

Before she signed them over (which took about 4 months to actually get done) we had abuse charges on her boyfriend. Social services found the charges to be founded however the judge dropped them. She has now married the man, there is currently a court order preventing him from being around the children. My problem is she is talking about trying to get them back. The papers are drawn up that BM as joint custody with my finance, while physical custody with the grandma."

You basically told me we were screwed and that there was no significant change to go for custody that the grandma would stand a pretty good chance of keeping the kids.  I trust your advice, you've always been right before.......so.......

1.  Do we have to go in fron of a judge if we can get all parties to agree on something?

2.  BM, Grandma both agree the kids should be with DH and I, can't we just get a lawyer to draw up the paperwork and be done with it?

3.  IF we went in front of a judge, does it matter we are not married, we have a weding date set Sept 25 but from what I have heard the judge is not going to let the children live with a couple that isn't yet married.

4. Anything else you can help with, we want these children and BM and grandma don't anymore.  

THANKS you're the best!

[socrateaser]

If you have an attorney present the court with a stipulated judgment fully detailing the agreement of the parties and their notarized signatures, then the judge will almost certainly sign the judgment without a courtroom hearing.

...and that will be the end of it.