What did I miss?

[deb09]

Soc,

STBX moved 260 miles away to live near his girlfriend.  I offered him every long weekend in the school calendar - I have no holidays with the kids - and half the summer, as well as local visitation with them so that he ends up with every other weekend.

My major concerns were that the kids would be subjected to a four hour drive EOW for one day visit "out there", and that I would not be able to take care of my other child's teenager schedule and job if I am driving EOW to meet him.

Three lawyers and a court facilitator (master) thought the offer was reasonable.  We go to court for a short list and the judge starts leaning on me to compromise and give dad "exceptions" so that he can have visitation on "short weekends" as well when they would be "out there" with him.

The judge sat there hashing it out with me and I accepted judge's suggestion of a cap of 2-3 weekends for "exceptions".

We go outside I say ok 3 stbx says 6 then 5....  I'm upset - I just got leaned on by the judge and everyone thinks my offer is reasonable.  He wants 6 exceptions or 15 out of 18 weekends the kids would be driving.

Judge tells us then if we can't settle on one tiny issue then come back with an evaluation and we will have a trial!  Sets three days for trial and boom we are out of there.

What did I miss?

What is this state that they do not have hearings - instead it is trial trial trial???

Did I do something wrong?  The judge suggested a cap of three - I said three???

Deb

[socrateaser]

The judge cannot take sides, although he can, and frequently wil, lean on a party in order to speed a settlement.

But, if the parties' are unable to settle, the judge must try the case -- that's due process, and it's the only option.

You haven't done anything wrong. The other parent thinks that he has a big advantage and he's trying to exploit it.