Visitation for minor daughter

[annas mom]

My daughter is currently 16 months old and we live in NC. The last visitation order was issued in NC 13 months ago. Her BF was granted one 4hour visit every other Saturday and two 2hour visits twice each week. He has seen her approximately 5 times since then and has never called to ask about her.

I was served today, at my new job, to appear in court for a hearing on modification of visitation schedule. BF wants every other weekend from 6PM Friday to 9PM Sunday. There are several factors about this that concern me, please advise as to where I stand legally...

1. Could I request supervised visitation since he has not seen the child in almost a year, of his own accord I might add?

2. Could I request that he be denied overnight visitation due to her age and the fact that he is currently cohabitating (illegal in NC, I believe)?

3. If not, could I request an earlier drop off on Sunday, since she generally goes to bed at 8PM?

4. I am currently not aware of his home address and he has no home phone. Can I request that he be ordered to obtain phone service and provide me with current contact information if he is to have our child in his home?


Thank you so much for your help! I really appreciate it!

[socrateaser]

>1. Could I request supervised visitation since he has not seen
>the child in almost a year, of his own accord I might add?

You can file a motion for a temporary modification to add supervised visitation, on grounds that the father has not been exercising visitation according to the order, and the child may be placed in distress as a consequence of the lack of familiarity with her father.

>2. Could I request that he be denied overnight visitation due
>to her age and the fact that he is currently cohabitating
>(illegal in NC, I believe)?

It is NOT illegal to cohabitate anywhere in the U.S. The NC courts may be predisposed to give some special weight to a parent who cohabitates and seeks overnights with a child from a different relationship, but that doesn't make it illegal.

>3. If not, could I request an earlier drop off on Sunday,
>since she generally goes to bed at 8PM?

Yes, you can ask the court for a change in transfer time, as part of the motion for temporary supervised visitation order.

>
>4. I am currently not aware of his home address and he has no
>home phone. Can I request that he be ordered to obtain phone
>service and provide me with current contact information if he
>is to have our child in his home?

You are absolutely entitled to this information, and I'm sure that they court would order this in your favor.

One more thing: It seems to me that you are more than a little irritated by this whole situtation, i.e., you make statements about the illegality of cohabiting, and that the father has failed to see his child "of his own accord."

I realize that you only want to do what's best for the child, however, unless you really believe that the father is a danger, or that he is so negligent or incompetent that he can't deal with the child, I believe that in the long run, you will be far better off attempting to negotiate a peaceful settlement that will permit daddy to spend some meaningful time with the child.

What I mean by this, is that if you make it so difficult for father to see the child, that father believes that he has no control over the situation, then I can practically guarantee it that he will use that as an excuse to NEVER see the child. He will blame you, and resent the kid, and in the final analysis, what will be accomplished is that your child will not have a daddy -- or at least not her biological daddy.

There's the law, and then there's human nature, and they're not the same thing. Legally, I have little doubt that you will win everything you want from the court. Just, think hard about whether your desire to restrict this relationship is because of your concern for your child or because of your bad feelings about your ex.

Good luck.