Question regarding Evaluation.

[Yngsmommy]

OK.

Evaluation was done from April to June of 2002.  DF was found to be a bit controlling and was told to get a job (he was unemployed) working normal hours (prior he worked the graveyard), and to put the kids in some sort of daycare.

SD was then 4, and SS was 2.

The only other worry was that DF and I were not in it for the 'long term' and when I left the kids would be devastated as they were extremly attached to me.

Concerns regarding BM were:
She got preggie by having unprotected sex (and admitted)
She had no job.
She had no stability (mentally or emotionally)
She had no "routine" and her whole life was about to be upset by her having a child when she didnt even know if she was going to stay with the father.

BM was suggested to get her "life in order", and seek therapy.

I know sounds wonderful... but the end of that statement was "After BM has gotten her life in order she may want to file for full custody."

BM supposdly has seen said therapist, however he is now refusing to testify...so BM has asked the judge to go back to mediation and possibly do a new evaluation..or at least update the last one.

Where as DF has gotten a job which he has held for the last 2 years, and SS is attending the same pre-school for the last 2 years.  We moved in together in August after the evaluation (we told evaluator we were planning this), and have been living there ever since. SD attends a local magnet and is doing very well in kidnergarten.  Also in December of last year DF asked me to marry him! Wedding is October of next year (we are both big planners).

Our concerns are although BM is STILL very unastable (moved 10 times in the last 2 years), got married without skids being there only 6 months after evaluation to new babies father, has no job, doesnt pay child support, etc. In fact in June of this year her liscense will be suspended for non payment.

BM (like most people with severe emotional problems) is very able to fake it, especially for shorter amounts of time.  SO we are worried she will fake it and come out on top.

The nice part is the judge has ordered BM to pay for the evaluation within 15 days of mediation, or we go back to court for the trial.

We would like to bring up in mediation if we DO an evaluation update, we would like BM's new husband as well as her 4 roomates to be evaluated.  She is asking for 100% custody or at least 50/50 and these are all people BM would want the children living with.

Living with the kids on our side we would both be re-evaluated, and we would obviously offer for the kids therapists, doctor's and teachers to be contacted. BM has never contacted any of these people despite having been given the data to her lawyer by our lawyer several times.

BM also refuses all contact with DF regarding the children...which was a major no no in the evaluation.

Right now DF will be going to mediation with BM next month, and then we have a CSC (????) on June 3rd. This is all in California also.  They did mediation in October of 2001 and BM refused to agree to anything other than 100% custody which had already been awarded temporarily to DF, hence the first evaluation.

We dont think the mediation will be useful since BM is unwilling to compromise.  We offered her 50.50 if she could do a bunch of average things (such as attend daycare/school functions for 12 months. Live in one residence for 12 months no more than 30 miles from childrens school, etc.) however she refused stating she wanted 100% custody.


We are hesitant since the first evaluation was hard on us and cost us almost 5,000.

What are the chances of us getting her roomates and new husband evaluated.  We think if we got this approved BM would back off since she cant afford that.

[socrateaser]

>What are the chances of us getting her roomates and new husband evaluated. We think if we got this approved BM would back off since she cant afford that.

Roomates: 0%
New Husband: 0%

These people are not party to the case. The court has no jursidiction to order them to do anything. You just need to pile up the facts and subpoena the husband and roomates to testify. I'm sure that with five witnesses plus the BM, that by the time they are all finished testi(lying), that the court will find them all to be completely full of it and you will get primary custody, and the BM will get limited visitation.

PS. CSC = Custody Settlement Conference. Judge wants you to try to negotiate a settlement before granting trial.