Taking her offer vs. going to court for custody

[djwhite]

Hello, I am in Missouri, as are my kids and my divorce of 9 years ago.  Currently, I have joint custody and I get every other weekend visitation, although for this school year my ex and I have had a VERBAL agreement that our 2 children (ages 15 and 13) alternate full weeks to satisfy school district residency. When my kids are with her they are all actually living with her parents, she doesn't have a house or apartment.

My ex has a prior history of depression, suicidal tendancies and outpatient psychiatric care (about 4 years ago).  She admitted this past March to a crack cocaine habit, smoking marijuana in front of my daughter, getting fired from her job by her own father, stealing from her parents, and getting kicked out of their house.  She entered herself into a drug rehab clinic for 21 days, has been clean for almost 60 days, and is back living with her parents.

I filed for full custody as soon as I found out about the drugs with her parents saying the would back me.  Now they have changed sides, have hired an attorney for her, and asked me to drop the case and keep things the way the are.  Otherwise, they would fight my motion for custody and ask for more child support ( a possible $340 a month increase according to my attorney, and still only every other weekend visitation).  She doesn't have a job and her parents support her and our kids financially when they are with her.

She has proposed going through an attorney and filing with the court a modification stating in writing I get the kids every other week and my support stays where it currently is set.  There is a court date set in July for the motion I filed in March.

1) Do I take her offer?
 or
2) Do I have a sufficient case that I should proceed with trying to get full custody or at least becoming the primary custodial parent?

Thank You.

[socrateaser]

>1) Do I take her offer?
> or
>2) Do I have a sufficient case that I should proceed with
>trying to get full custody or at least becoming the primary
>custodial parent?

I don't know if you have a sufficient case. If the CP is now clean and sober then you won't be able to show a change in circumstances on that issue.

As for your support, nothing you can negotiate with the other parent will prevent her from moving to modify support to reflect guideline support. The reason for this is that, if the CP can come up with anything that demonstrates either a change in your income or her income of +-$50 or 5% per pay period, then that will trigger the change in circumstances element required to file a motion to modify support.

So, while it may sound like you are getting a good deal, you're really just modifying custody.

I would need to see all of your evidence, but I would ask myself why she wishes to settle. Maybe she doesn't think her case is all that good. Maybe the grandparents have been informed as to just how expensive a custody battle is to prosecute, and they don't really want to put up the dough.

My advice is to decide what you believe to be in your kid's best interests, and in yours, and then do it.