Antagonistic ex

[johnw]

Dear Soc,
              My ex wife has a restraining order which has been in place for over 3 years. Up until recently we've been to court regarding child support, which is currently in appeals and it seems things are not going her way. I'm in NJ and the content of the order basically says I am to have no contact at all. However, she continually is sending me emails, leaving phone messages, and sending notes with the kids(who are 7 and 10). The communication she has with me is very antagonistic, like she is trying to pick a fight. Twice in the past month she has also come into my house univited, and today she showed up at my son's soccer tournement. This is my weekend, and due to her presence around my son, I was forced to keep my distance from him, and be less involved with him today. She impeded on my time with a kids today. Due to the order I could never show up at a function with the kids on her weekend.
What can I do?

Can I get a restraining order against her to keep out of my house, and away from me and the kids when its my time?
I've heard of a Civil restraint. What is that?
How can I enforce that she can't come around me and the kids?

My attorney sent her attorney a letter asking her to stop communicating but it did not stop her.

Thanks in advance for your help.

[socrateaser]

It's possible that you could show, that by your ex's actions, she demonstrates that she does not fear irreparable harm from you, and therefore, that the restraining order should be dissolved.

[johnw]

Can I do that?
I thought only a plaintif could get rid of it. I guess I would feel safer knowing she doesn't have that to threaten me with all the time.

If I can't do anything about it could I at least do something about her actions and keep her away from me?
Is there such a no contact order?

Thanks for your help

[socrateaser]

>Can I do that?

Yes, you can file a motion to set aside the existing restraining order, on grounds that the protected party has consistently demonstrated from her actions that she does not view the restrained party as a threat to her safety, therefore that no irreparable harm will come to her, if the restraining order is dissolved.

You must be able to prove with credible evidence, all of the circumstances that you allege will support your motion. You can't just march in and say, she did this and she did that.

>I thought only a plaintif could get rid of it. I guess I would
>feel safer knowing she doesn't have that to threaten me with
>all the time.

No, you can get rid of it, exactly as I just described above.

>
>If I can't do anything about it could I at least do something
>about her actions and keep her away from me?

Yes. You can ask for a restraining order against her, on grounds that her behavior is harrassing and annoying, and that her continued attempts to contact you, create the very real possibility that she will use her existing restraining order against you, while she is voluntarily in close proximity to you.

>Is there such a no contact order?

A no contact order is generally stipulated between parties, i.e., both of you agree not to contact each other. But, it can also be ordered by a court.

The difference is usually, that a no contact order is entirely civil in nature, and your remedy for violation is a contempt motion, whereas the restraining order that you are currently under, I believe, contains provisions that permit the protected party to have the restrained party arrested on nothing more than the protected party's assertion that the restrained party has violated the restraining order.

[johnw]

Thanks for your help. I will persue these avenues and see what I can do.

Thanks again.