final hearing set for Sept 3rd

[bonusmommy]

I just wanted to say thank you for such a wonderful site, really helpful.

Dear Socrateaser,

Background info:1999- Child was 2 month old, mom signed 2 papers giving dad temp custody. Dad was granted immediate temporary custody of child by courts of WV, even though no paternity was established . Paternity was later est. Dad had custody and mom had supervised visitations every other week for a week's time. Mom claimed he kidnapped her and we forged her name on the original papers she gave him.

In Oct 2000, his atty made him sign settlement agreement stating he would not get full custody anyways, since she is not working and is on SSI and SSA. So he ended up with weekend visitations with her having child during the week and him paying child support. We moved to Fla and his mother resumed visitations on his behalf.

In Aug 2001, mom took child for 30 days out of state without permission of father. She then dropped child off with father's mom for 30 days with no contact info. Dad filed contempt of court for her not returning child and for leaving her behind. Mom filed contempt that dad didn't return child.

Feb 2002 court hearing, she had laywer he didn't. She  was granted primary residence since he moved child to Fl without permission(how could he, she dropped her off and left her behind) All comtempt charges were dismissed by judge. Judge changed custody from joint, to her having primary residence and decision making and he has custody during his visitations.

Since then she has sent letters stating she is not letting him have the child until he goes to court to get permission(thought that was what a court order was)and such. We've had to bring officers to the house to reinforce the issue(they don't get involved but just warn her she will be in contempt).

 Bio mom took the child out of state again without permission in Dec 2002, later sending a letter stating she was moving (already moved)and asked if he wanted the new address(she never did give the address)found out from his mom the addy.

 Recently(3-04) biomom filed a petition with the juvenile courts of virginia to terminate or have father's visitations supervised. Her 'reasonings' are as follows(as she put on the petition)2 counts kidnapping, harrassment and not following court order. She also lied on the affidavit, stating she lived in the one home(her mother's) since 2002.
 
Dad counter petitioned for primary residential custody with her having visitations. His reasonings, are as follows: 'Mom's' mental instability(memory loss and brain injury) and domestic violence(family abuse)problems in her household. 'Mom' has repeatedly denied and frustrated the court ordered visitation schedule resulting in the involvement of law enforcement to enforce the court order. Denied phone contact further alienating my and 'daughter's' relationship. Her unwillingness to set aside differences to allow a positive relationship with myself,'daughter's' siblings and other relatives. Excessive moving- 'daughter' has been moved to 3 residences since 2-02.  'Mom' is motioning the court to limit access of 'daughter' to me, further demonstrating that she wishes to cease the relationship between 'daughter' and I, which is clearly not in 'daughter's' best interests. "daughter' needs both parents to be involved and actively working together in her best interests to maintain contact with both parents.

The judge ordered parenting classes(for divorced or seperated people). She also ordered mediation. He went in offering to make sacrafices to have more time. She agreed to minimal things, later decided to not sign the agreement. Judge ordered both parents submit bill of particulars detailing what they wanted- mom to specify why judge should grant her wishes. In his bill of particulars, he sent to the court- the parenting plan off this site.(thank you)
 
We live in the state of Tn now.(was in Fl for 3+ years)
Mom can't prove her case as he has never been charged and or convicted of kidnapping or harrassment.   Her mother had(has?) guardianship over her due to her mental condition(biomom is 28- almost 29) from her car wreck and there is domestic abuse between the two, while daughter was in her care.(have copies of the arrest report)
 
Unfortunately, we have no access to $ for an atty and we both know that with the right words and presentation that judge will take daughter out of her home. Currently, she is residing with her granmother for  2 months this summer... yet another move for the child. Bio- Mom is moving back into a new home with her mother whom she struck in the face and was arrested for.

 Child has reported that mom told her she is finding a place to live that daddy can never find or see her again(daughter cried telling me- she said she really loved her daddy and would miss him very much) She also told us that her grandma and mother fight all the time and grandma yells at and hits mommy all the time. Also said she hits her frequently, too. (grandma keeps kicking BM out of house, partial reason for the frequent moving)

Bio-mom has had 3 Boyfriends she makes daughter call daddy since 2002(several more we prob don't know about). Daughter is confused about what is going on. Daughter has imitated sexual bahviours on my daughters that she claims she watched her mommy and her boyfriend do. Remember she's only recently turned 5.

We have all the letters she wrote, demonstrating change of circumstances. We have the police report for the calls to enforce the order. We have the papers from when she was arrested for hitting her mother. We have a letter she wrote to him while she was pregnant saying the baby was dead.

What more do we need to prove that this child is not living in the right household?

Questions:
1. During a final hearing, when you are represented by nobody, how do you present your case? ho do you get across the info?

2. Do you think that the judge will allow a change in custody based on the info we have provided?

3. School starts 5 days before the court hearing,do you think that has any weight on the judge's decision? The child is 5 years old, starting kindergarten.

4. Will the fact that daughter has step brothers and half sisters in our home count for anything?

5. How do you submit the letters as evidence, is that something that is done during the case or before?

6. Any words of wisdom? :D

I know this was a book and I apologise for the length. I felt it necessary to explain the situation and background to get a true response.

Thank you all for any and all help..

[KAT]

VA has Guardian Ad Litem's available (lawyer for the child). Of course there is a fee invovled (75. per hour at last check). Since you are out of state there *could* be a home study made in TN by social services since it's likely the GAL will end up doing biomoms. You'll have to check but I think it's form DC-401.
Perhaps Soc will comment on any value to requesting a GAL be appointed considering what the child is repeating to you.
KAT

[socrateaser]

>1. During a final hearing, when you are represented by nobody,
>how do you present your case? ho do you get across the info?

You are asking me to teach you how to practice law in 20 words or less. I can't. You need an attorney. If you can't afford one, you will get slaughtered, just as you have in the past. Learn from your past mistake, and stop trying to prove that you are "right." Court is not about right and wrong -- it's about winning and losing. If you aren't prepared to win, then you shouldn't fight, because you will lose.

>
>2. Do you think that the judge will allow a change in custody
>based on the info we have provided?

Your facts are all over the map. If this is what you intend to show the court, then you will lose, mainly because the judge won't be able to follow your evidence, so he/she will just stop listening and decide against you.

>
>3. School starts 5 days before the court hearing,do you think
>that has any weight on the judge's decision? The child is 5
>years old, starting kindergarten.

It will make the judge lean towards maintaining the status quo, which is not in your favor.

>
>4. Will the fact that daughter has step brothers and half
>sisters in our home count for anything?

Nope.

>
>5. How do you submit the letters as evidence, is that
>something that is done during the case or before?

Evidence must be competent, offerred in proper form, relevant, and not subject to some exlusionary rule. I could go on for another 100,000 words.

>
>6. Any words of wisdom?

Ive been doing this for a long time and I can always tell when someone is about to walk the plank. You are in way over your head -- hire a lawyer or prepare for defeat.