What else can I do?

[Gatordad]

S-

I have a 10 1/2 yr old daughter and live in FLA.  I have been divorced from her mother since she was 4.  Her mother's adultery led to the divorce and new marriage 31 days after our divorce was final.  I have remarried (2000) and my wife's son has known my daughter since they were three(in school together)

In 2000, my ex wife and her new husband got into an altercation to where she was arrested for aggravated assault and encarcerated for 2 days.  3 weeks later i received a call from her husband telling me to come get my daughter-no reasons given.  WHen I arrived he was out front with her and I left quickly.  I took my daughter to a psychologist the next day and she advised him of the abuse-by law he is mandated to call DCF.  Florida did an investigation and determined that there was no bruising and since she was so young, the case was dropped and i was made by the state to return her to normal visitation schedule.

I took her back to court but was advised to settle in mediation for NO primary residence for either myself or her mother.  We now share visitation 50/50.

My ex-wife now lives with a 60 yr old man, unmarried (sugardaddy) and has no job.

Dilemma:

I lost my job and the one i found is out of state in Texas.  I have filed a modification of final dissolution to request that my daughter move with me.  I am awaiting a hearing date. My ex-wife's attorney has sent correpondence to my attorney stating that all that happened to my ex-wife in regards to the mental and physical abuse with direct relationship to my daughter, happened before the last order was entered, therefore cannot be brought up in this change of circumstances.

in April 2004, I agreed to let my daughter see a therapist for her anxiety and sleep issues.  During these sessions, my daughter akerted her that she knew i may have to move and wanted to move with me.  This same pattern has gone on for the duration of the treatment. She was released from care in July and her mother was told by my daughter in front of the therapist that she wished to move.  I have all of this documentation.  My ex cited "She is too young to know what she wants"

Questions:

1. Can we use any of the documentation from the DCF actions, her arrest records in any was to assist us in our case to show character?
2. In Florida, what would you think my chances are?
3. Is my daughter too young to be involved in the process? DOB 1994
4. DO you know of any case law in Florida that has where someone has had to move for a job, that has no disposition of primary residence, and has had the case granted their way?
5. With my wife having no job and living with a potential 4th husband, will this coupled with all you see above give us a good chance in a Florida court?
6.  My daughter wants to move, I do not know if the courts even allow her to be a part of the process, she wants to talk to or send a letter to the judge, is this a ggood/bad idea?
7. Any thought/pionters/assistance?

Thank you for your time.

Gatordad
 

[socrateaser]

>1. Can we use any of the documentation from the DCF actions,
>her arrest records in any was to assist us in our case to show
>character?

Yes, but not to demonstrate the necessary change in circumstances, if these issues occured prior to the stipulated custody orders. So, this evidence may not help you, until the court decides to allow a new custody hearing.

>2. In Florida, what would you think my chances are?

I don't read tea leaves.

>3. Is my daughter too young to be involved in the process? DOB
>1994

Courts give children's testimony weight based on their maturity and ability to communicate their wishes. I don't know your child, so I can't say how much weight the court will give to this evidence. If you get a therapist to testify, that in his/her expert opinion, the child's desire to live with you is genuine, that will do nearly as well as the child's own testimony.

>4. DO you know of any case law in Florida that has where
>someone has had to move for a job, that has no disposition of
>primary residence, and has had the case granted their way?

No, sorry, and no time to research the question.


>5. With my wife having no job and living with a potential 4th
>husband, will this coupled with all you see above give us a
>good chance in a Florida court?

I don't read tea leaves. It's all up to the judge. Ask your attorney how many times he/she has faced this sort of problem with the judge who will make the decision. If your attorney has never faced this issue with this judge, then it's a total crap shoot.

>6.  My daughter wants to move, I do not know if the courts
>even allow her to be a part of the process, she wants to talk
>to or send a letter to the judge, is this a ggood/bad idea?

See #3 above.


>7. Any thought/pionters/assistance?

Yes, you need to stop whining about your ex's past indiscretions. It clouds your thinking. Concentrate on your child. Neither the court, nor I give a rip about who slept with whom, UNLESS, that person is living with the child, and is a known, or can be proved to be a child abuser, or otherwise prone to violent behavior.

FYI, this sort of thing happens ALL THE TIME. People are always cheating on each other, and both women and men have used marriage as a means of economic improvement since the beginning of time.

So, get over it and move on -- you'll feel better if you do.