preparing for mediation and unneccessary custody battle......

[shawneetears]

 Facts:
1. all parties reside in same county in state of NC

2.  BM's attorney filed complaint that states the following:
    name and birthdates of children
    date of seperation
    that SHE is a fit and proper person to have custody care and control
    no mention is made of BF, visitation etc.

3. Requests that the court award her custody and assign child support.

4. Mediation is court required and BF has already been to the orientation.  BM rescheduled so that she would not have to go till after thanksgiving holiday.

5.  BF has made numerous attempts to contact BM by phone in order to arrange a visit with children; BM will not answer phone or return calls. any message are short and to the point..."please return my call..." no harrassment.

6. The last time he was at the residence Sept 13, BM told him if he returned to the residence without her consent she would have him charged with trespass - magistrate upheld that she could do this as he had vacated the marital residence.

7.  BF recieved complaint on Nov 10.  We are working on getting the retainer for an attorney (no one will touch this untill they have it) and it is unlikely that we will have one before Dec 10.

Questions:

1.  Am I correct that BF has 30 days after reciept of service on the complaint in which to file and answer to the complaint.

2.  In the answer to the complaint must only the things listed in the complaint be addressed?

3.  Is there some way for his proposed solution to be included...IE counter claim for Joint custody; he is pretty much wanting to ask for Joint legal custody with BM having primary physical and BF having secondary physical and standard visitation .

4.  If it cannot be put into the answer; Should he wait until mediation or present what he wants to her or her attorney now. (it seems she is doing all possible to drag this out till after the christmas holidays)

5.  As to child support, is it customary for it to begin accrueing from the date of filing or will it begin at the date of the order.

6. Does BF have to wait until court determines custody to see children.

Thank you.

wish you all the best life has to offer!  :)

[socrateaser]

>Questions:
>
>1.  Am I correct that BF has 30 days after reciept of service
>on the complaint in which to file and answer to the
>complaint.

CAVEAT: I don't know specific NC civil procedure, so I can't state it for a fact, but 30 days seems reasonable.

>
>2.  In the answer to the complaint must only the things listed
>in the complaint be addressed?

Depends on NC law. In a domestic relations matter, some states permit you to simply state that "Respondent Appears," and that's it, because divorce in the jurisdiction is no-fault, therefore there is nothing to defend against. However, as you are in a "fault" jurisdiction, you may respond to the various assertions, such as that the mother is a fit parent for custody, by stating that you are also a fit parent and that you should be granted custody. Once again, this is a very specific question of NC civil procedure, and I'd have to research it to give you an answer (research = $$$).

>
>3.  Is there some way for his proposed solution to be
>included...IE counter claim for Joint custody; he is pretty
>much wanting to ask for Joint legal custody with BM having
>primary physical and BF having secondary physical and standard
>visitation .

You may incorporate your solution into your answer, e.g., "Father is a fit parent and hereby requests that the court order joint legal and physical custody of the children, according to the parenting plan contained in Exhibit #??, attached and hereby incorporated herein."

>
>4.  If it cannot be put into the answer; Should he wait until
>mediation or present what he wants to her or her attorney now.
>(it seems she is doing all possible to drag this out till
>after the christmas holidays)

Asked and answered.

>
>5.  As to child support, is it customary for it to begin
>accrueing from the date of filing or will it begin at the date
>of the order.

The court has power to order support retroactive to the date of filing of the Petition/Complaint requesting support, and in some States, prior to the date of filing.

>6. Does BF have to wait until court determines custody to see
>children.

If you've already been told BY A JUDGE, that you can be arrested for criminal trespass for returning to the marital home without consent of the mother, then you must file an emergency motion for temporary custody, on grounds that the children's best interests are being irreparably damaged by your spouse's total refusal to allow you access to the children.

Otherwise, you're gonna end up in jail.

[jilly]

I am in NC too and you do have 30 days from date of service in which to file an Answer.  This information is also on the Summons attached to the Complaint.

[shawneetears]

Soc,
 tks....we sent answer, looks like may settle in mediation... parties are now on speaking terms.

jilly,
tks.... was confused as to that date as it was never put on the summons by the deputy (only thing on the whole package was the filed date...deputy never even signed our copy)  also.... was told by one clerk it was 30 business days, which makes a difference since from time of service there were 5 extra days that county offices were closed.... guess it is a moot point now as answer was sent... they will allow it or not...hopefully it won't really be an issue.
wish you all the best life has to offer!  :)