Sudden change in dropoff location

[johnk0121]

Dear  Soc,

Last year, Fiance's X insisted on a change to the New Year's visitation.  When picking Fiance's daughter up, he said that if Fiance wanted her at noon the next day, she had to come get her at his family's residence.  His family is very angry, and has guns at their residence,  including typical a loaded one by the door.  Understandably, Fiance was scared to go to this place alone.  So, after some consideration and talking with friends about possibly escorting her, she called the non-emergency number for the police and requested an escort.  Once she explained the situation, and that there were guns in the house, they said that they would meet her 10 minutes away from X's house and come with her.  Two accompanied her.  While she was there, X's mother urged their dog to bite Fiance.  They were taking pictures and making snide comments.

This year he sent a proposed holiday schedule via email (after she had sent two suggested schedules, that gave him MORE time).  She agreed to it, and it stated that New Year's Eve he would have her from Noon NYE until 2pm on New Years.

While picking her up, X said that Fiance had to come pick daughter up the next day at 2pm at his family's residence.  X stated, "No, you will bring her back here, or I will be calling the cops because you will be in contempt."

She has sole legal custody, Howard County, MD.  Divorce Decree signed December 14th.  X has submitted some form of motion to the court asking for the decree to be made "null and void".  (Don't know more than this, was told about it by lawyer over the phone.)

The options we see are:   Stay at home tomorrow at 2pm, and let him bring daughter back at some unknown time.
Stay at home, but call the cops some time after 2pm.  Call the cops and ask for an escort.  Ask a friend or two to escort.   Or go there alone (actually we don't really see this as a viable option).

The concern we have with not going and getting her is any chance of him claiming that Mother abandoned the child.  On the other hand, we don't really like bringing about a "situation" in front of the daughter.  (Even though it is really X's actions that would have brought this about it.)

1.  Which option would you suggest?  Or is there another we have overlooked?

2.  Does sole custody mean that, as long as the visitation schedule ordered is followed, all decisions, including where drop offs will occur, or made by the custodian?

Thanks!
JK

[socrateaser]

>1.  Which option would you suggest?  Or is there another we
>have overlooked?

I suggest that you follow your court orders,whatever they may be, to the letter, if possible.

>
>2.  Does sole custody mean that, as long as the visitation
>schedule ordered is followed, all decisions, including where
>drop offs will occur, or made by the custodian?

Yes, generally speaking. However, the sole custodian can delegate her authority to anyone, and that includes the other parent. So, if the custodian says or writes one thing and that thing can be proven to a judge's satisfaction, then that's gonna be the way it goes down, otherwise it won't be going down at all.

EX: custodian says visitation from X to Y pick up and drop off at location Z, then custodian says, after visitation begins, "I've changed my mind, bring child to location W at V o'clock, and visiting parent has already made plans in reliance on custodian's prior commitment, then visiting parent is on solid ground to continue to do what was originally agreed.

Problem is PROOF, and my advice is, anything that isn't in writing and signed by the sole custodian parent doesn't exist.

You should be able to evaluate your own circumstances based on my example above. Try to look at things from both parents' perspective before deciding to do anything.

Happy New Year