Really Bad day in court

[dipper]

Hi Soc,

Thank you for all your help these past few months.  Unfortunately, nothing we had done had any effect.

Our lawyer was 1 1/2 hours late....putting us at the end of the day to get in.  Before the hearing, she and opposing couns. talked.  He came straight out and got dh's ex and went over what was said.....dh's lawyer didnt.

Asked about her not paying rent, the ex blamed dh's illness.  Even though he was out of work in August -and she had missed the September, December, and January rents.....it was dh's fault.  Missing $150 kept her from paying her rent.  We even had ss the month of August.

She had not sent the subpoena from her store for her work hours on to the main office - out of state.  lawyer verified this with main office.  Nothing was brought up about that.

NOTHING discussed at the last hearing or before was admissable.  

The ex lied about so many things - stating her mother keeps Jason on weekends while she works - not true, she has kept him one night.  The rest he has been with her 'buddies'.  She stated that she sits down at a table every night to do homework with ss.  Not once has she done this.

The lawyer had told me I would have to be called in if the tent incident - where ss fondled my daughter was brought up.....I was called in and that was never mentioned.  What was mentioned and probably was the worst piece of information used against us was a letter I wrote to the editor of my local paper back in June, 2004 after the first hearing.  I was discussing the fact that many times men are not treated fairly, and women have ownership of children, I had also discussed certain bad qualities that could the woman could possess (of course I was thinking of dh's ex...) and still keep the child.  Her lawyer went on and on about that being exposed to ss.  I wasnt married then - my name was different, so most people didnt know who I was referring to.  SS cannot read - he is learning disabled and there is no way he could read that article - and he wasnt even here - he was 80 miles away.  No one read the article to him, unless she did since she had gotten her hands on it.

The one time I spoke with her and we got into an arguement was over the incident in the tent - and her lawyer said it was over child support.  Which I denied as that was no where in the conversation.  I did not bring up the tent as I had been told not to.....and there was no redirect  from lawyer which could have cleared this up.  

SS - he had told dh's ex' lawyer that he doesnt even like my oldest daughter.  This was brought up to dh - and he was asked if he even speaks to his son.  SS had told his mom that he doesnt like the psychologist and isnt going back.  So, they brought up the incident of him fondling my daughter and how she is still in the house and he doesnt like her - but also note that its his 'option' about counseling.

SS told us he is getting a big sword from his mom today.  And one of her 'buddies' is getting him the cd he has been wanting.

SS even called them before the hearing, laughing and hooting it up.  Then as soon as we walked out the door, T was calling and ss told him things went well........

WE are devastated.  I feel guilty as I feel everything I did only hurt us.  But even more so, ss was just playing us.

SS told his brother that T has wrecked three times, and even spent the night at their house because of one wreck.  His mom had said T only watched ss one time - and they were in the living room playing video games.  Not true, ss game system is always in the bedroom - and oss even said that is where he hooked it up at Christmas.  SS told OSS yesterday that T smokes pot and wouldnt really reply when oss asked if he does it with him present.

And the lesbian babysitters - they took him to a pool hall the other night before trial, but had to leave because he wasnt 21 and you had to be to be in there.

Oh, and one of bm's letters states that she did tell dh about IEP.  Lied in court and said she did.  Our lawyer didnt follow up.

Sorry, I got way off track.....the judge fussed for five minutes at bm for controlling and cutting dh out of ss' life.  He even said she was manipulating the situations.  He told dh that we are not to be discussing bm in front of ss - but didnt say anything to her about her comments about us......and told dh that we spend too much time researching this and gathering information.  Then said there were no changes to custody.

It's over.............and I doubt if dh will see much of ss.  BM told the judge it was ss' decision not to come last weekend.  And that she had plans this weekend - so dh will not get his time....nobody cared....

[socrateaser]

Well, I'm sorry. And, I don't mean to rub salt in your wounds, but I did say from the beginning that I didn't think much of your case from the evidence you provided here, and that it mostly sounded like an angry vent. Based on what you just posted, the judge wasn't particularly impressed with your case OR the other parent's case, which led the judge to do what judges do, when they hear nothing compelling from either party -- they do nothing at all.

I'm still wondering why your attorney took this thing to trial in the first place. But, now it doesn't really matter, it's over, and all you can do is move on with your life.

[dipper]

The only reason dh ever went to court is because that is what his 12 year old son wanted.  He did not want to move.  Begged to stay here....and the bm refused and she is the one who got nasty in court.  Had dh had money for an attorney before the move, ss would probably be here.

SS is 13.  His buddies are 20 and 30 year olds who work for his mom and then spend all evening with him - riding around to pool halls and arcades.  the women are lesbians, or maybe bi, because according to ss one is cheating with the 20 year old guy.  SS told oss that the 20 year old smokes pot - it makes him feel good.  One of the women is a convicted felon (we pulled the records on that).  She also lost custody of her own child recently.

the judge asked oss about something that we dont know how the judge knew about  - it was not presented at the hearing.  And anything from the last hearing was restricted even though it was a temp order.  You had to go from that day on...............

SS played everyone - and bm came through with the 'cool' buddies plus the promise of a sword to hang on his wall and a new cd.......

But, that is the reason we went to court - we naively believed the child wanted to live here.