What do you all think of this?

[StPaulieGirl]

My ex wrote a short letter to the kids the other day, stating that he understood that the kids were angry with him and XXXX, but he loved them.  He then wanted to know if the little one could climb stairs yet, and that he replaced the boy's malfuctioning guitar(he got it for Christmas, as did his stepbrothers).  So predictable, because it's been a pattern repeated throughout the years.  If they hadn't been outed in the hospital room, my son's dad would have just held it over his head. Lol, he even bought him another amp.  The ex knows he's in deep doodoo...

There was no apology for the discomfort, or violation of these children's sense of safety from CPS visits based on lies.  There was no guarantee that it would not happen again.

He is coming by tomorrow.

What I would like to do is to confront him when he comes over tomorrow and ask him point blank to look the kids in the eye, and promise them that this will never happen again.  My oldest daughter and son in law are coming tonight(and staying the weekend) to help me do more packing.  My son in law can be a witness, but I'm trying to figure out if I could find another one on short notice.  Someone not family.

Your thoughts please.  Thanks.

[wendl]

Just depends on how old your children are. Maybe he didnt want to bring up that again to help protect the kids from further discomfort (not sure I don't know your ex)

:)

At least he wrote them a letter

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[StPaulieGirl]

Well, the youngest just turned 10.  Her brother will be 17 next month.  My son in law and I are 13 yrs apart.  He's married to my oldest who is 25, and my second oldest is 21, soon to be 22.  She has a 2 yr old, and is expecting a baby on Dec 25th.   They all have the same father, and I mention that because people have brought up the age gaps.

Of course he wrote them a letter.  He wants to find out what kind of damage control he needs to perform.  If he and I had not divorced, last February would have marked our 25th anniversary.  Something he brought up to the kids, even though he has remarried.  Yuck.

Here's a good one back from June.  The youngest one wanted to spend the entire summer with daddy.  I said ok.  The day he was supposed to pick her up, he shut off his cell phone, and no one answered the phone at his house.  She went on 411.com and tracked down his company.  Unfortunately, at ten yrs old she doesn't understand how big this company is.  She ended up chewing out some guy with the same name as her father.  I was out grocery shopping, but my son told me.  I told him that the next time she gets angry with her father, hide the damn phone.

I want him to stand there, look them straight in the eyes and lie to them.  With witnesses.  You realize that I have to deal with this for eight more years.  There is no happiness, no joy, no normalcy watching your littlest one grow up when you know that there is a vulture sitting there waiting....

[wendl]

I know it sucks, my son is 12 and never sees his dad, he did call his dad last week to see if dad wanted to spend time with him. First thing dad said was "let me ask you a question, did your  mom put you upto this" son repied NO.

SO dad said he couldnt this week maybe next, well hmm no call and son went out of town.

The whole thing just sucks, here is a child who really wants his dad and a dad who could care less. Then I see all the great dads here (as well as my dh) and get sooo mad.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[StPaulieGirl]

I just kept the front door shut while their father talked with them for a few minutes.  His wife was in the car and was trying to look into the house.  I have boxes everywhere, and the furniture pushed around to make room for the wheelchair and walker.  It's a mess.  Too bad.

Amazing, isn't it?  When my ex pulled that stunt, the first thing I thought of was all the guys here who can't even call their kids, nevermind get offered extra visitation.  She did go to Utah with them for a week.  I think he actually exercised the whole two weeks this summer.