Alleged physical abuse and visitiation, redux.

[iliveoutloud4me]

>>>1.) Does this knowledge change anything in your opinion
>>about
>>>what might happen?
>>
>>Yes, assuming that everything is in order with the test and
>>the questions are relevant, then my next move would be to
>>suggest that the mother and the son who alleges the abuse
>also
>>take a polygraph. If they refuse, then the judge, may just
>>dismiss. At the very least, the judge will ask a number of
>>hard questions of the mother and son, if he is available to
>>testify.
>>
>>>2.) Any suggestions as to getting the already taken
>>polygraphy
>>>and request for another if necessary before the judge? We
>>are
>>>sure the other party will not stipulate to it's admission.
>>
>>I think that I might question the mother on her expert
>opinion
>>of polygraphs, and further on whether, in her expert
>opinion,
>>she believes that her ex husband is a pathological liar
>>capable of beating such an examination.
>>
>>I might even bring in some authoritative literature on
>>polygraphs and ask her for an opinion about that. If you can
>>get her to admit that polygraphs are nearly impossible to
>>beat, and that her ex is not the type of personality to be
>>able to beat it, then I would ask her if her ex were to take
>a
>>polygraph, would she accept the results?
>>
>>If she says yes, then I'd offer the polygraph. If she
>changed
>>her tune, the judge wouldn't believe anything the mother
>>said.
>
>Dear Socrateaser:
>
>I loved your advice. We plan on using it exactly as you
>formatted it, after I've done a little research on the
>validity of the polygraph. Wish us luck! We will be sure to
>tell you the "rest" of the story as it unfolds.
>Many thanks
>

Dear Socrateaser:
I don't know how to link these items together and make them look new. Basically, without having to go into a great amount of detail, we are coming up on our hearing before the court regarding the false allegations, polygraph, etc. We are also asking for a psych eval and appt of a GAL. This is in a small town in SD.

1.) Do you recommend GAL's in general in custody/visitation issues?

2.) If you are unsure, would you recommend not asking for one due to it being a small town (bias, not neutral as to gender, etc.

Thanks.

[socrateaser]

>1.) Do you recommend GAL's in general in custody/visitation
>issues?

I never give general advice in a specific case. Your case boils down to whether the children's mental state can be credibly ascertained. A GAL will be obliged to advance the children's interests, regardless of the parents' interests, so you could find yourself paying for someone to oppose you.

>
>2.) If you are unsure, would you recommend not asking for one
>due to it being a small town (bias, not neutral as to gender,
>etc.

Just present your side of the controversy and let the judge decide whether or not to appoint a GAL/evaluator/psychologist, etc.

[iliveoutloud4me]

>>1.) Do you recommend GAL's in general in custody/visitation
>>issues?
>
>I never give general advice in a specific case. Your case
>boils down to whether the children's mental state can be
>credibly ascertained. A GAL will be obliged to advance the
>children's interests, regardless of the parents' interests, so
>you could find yourself paying for someone to oppose you.
>
>>
>>2.) If you are unsure, would you recommend not asking for
>one
>>due to it being a small town (bias, not neutral as to
>gender,
>>etc.
>
>Just present your side of the controversy and let the judge
>decide whether or not to appoint a GAL/evaluator/psychologist,
>etc.

Dear Socrateaser:

Ok, we took your advice about the GAL. We are telling the court in our motion for contempt that we don't think family counselling is necessary as it's a little like closing the barn door after--well you get the idea. Anyway, your advice, as usual, is perfect. I sure wish I knew who you were and why you do this? Anyway, some more info.

Our court date is approaching, we have all the possible ducks lined up and I do mean all of them. In other words, if she were your average person, this would be a slam dunk. However, as you know, she has this education, etc., plus, she's a narcissist. Which means she can lie very convincingly.

A few years back, I read an article, it may have been on this site but I cannot locate it now. It was about how to cross-examine a narcissist in court. If I had someone, say, like you for instance, doing the questioning, I wouldn't worry about it. As it is, our lawyer has had to digest a lot of information in a short amount of time and I don't think cross x is his strong point to begin with.

Are you familiar with these strategies? Please don't answer about not worrying so much about destroying this woman in court and just looking good ourselves, etc., because if we don't, we lose any chance to maintain a relationship with his kids and it's dicey at any rate. The judge is already halfway to the water we're trying to lead him to, we need help getting him the rest of the way!

1.)Do you know the article and/or advice for cross with a narcissist?

2.) If your information is not specific as to narcissism, do you have general tips as to how to expose someone who is being deceitful?

As always, many, many thanks.

[Troubledmom]

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/narcissist.htm

http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html

http://www.narcissisticabuse.com/

hope those help

TM

[iliveoutloud4me]

>http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/narcissist.htm
>
>http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
>
>http://www.narcissisticabuse.com/
>
>hope those help
>
>TM
 These are what I was talking about. Thank you TM, so much!

[iliveoutloud4me]

>>1.) Do you recommend GAL's in general in custody/visitation
>>issues?
>
>I never give general advice in a specific case. Your case
>boils down to whether the children's mental state can be
>credibly ascertained. A GAL will be obliged to advance the
>children's interests, regardless of the parents' interests, so
>you could find yourself paying for someone to oppose you.
>
>>
>>2.) If you are unsure, would you recommend not asking for
>one
>>due to it being a small town (bias, not neutral as to
>gender,
>>etc.
>
>Just present your side of the controversy and let the judge
>decide whether or not to appoint a GAL/evaluator/psychologist,
>etc.


Dear Socrateaser:

I knew I would be writing again!
Withought you having to read the facts of this case again, I'll summarize. Years ago, my husband spanked his 12 year old son. Now, 5 years later, that spanking  which was exaggerated all out of proportion, is being used to buttress (partially) a claim by his ex and his oldest son that my husband slammed this (now 17) year old kid into a wall.

My husband took and passed a polygraph, which we know the admissibility of is dicey. In any event, back when this spanking occurred, my husband attended an anger mangement class. The lady that ran the class told him he didn't need anger mgt but help in coping with an angry person (and she obviously didn't mean my husband).

This same counselor is going to testify for us in our upcoming hearing. She intends to testify as to the tests used, etc., that led to her not diagnosing my husband as having an anger mgt problem. Here's the kicker. We recently found out, that well over a year ago, his ex had those records (the anger mgt counselor's records) subpoenaed. We're not worried about what's in the records, just about how they got into the ex's lawyers hands.

The ex was not litigating abuse at the time, just visitation denial in other matters (obviously, this has escalated). In other words, when the records were subpoenaed, there was no hearing or motion in support or anything. Bam, she just has the records, I guess because she thought they might come in handy? The attorney who did this did it 24 hours before a hearing unrelated to anger or abuse issues. We knew about it because she (opposing counsel) had told our attorney "off the record."

1.) Is this legal?

2.) Don't judges have to sign subpoena's for medical and/or treatment records?

3.) If it is legal, how much time do they have to give the treating professional?

4.) Shouldn't someone have had to notify my husband?

Thanks a million!