Custody & Visitation/False Criminal Allegations

[justlilolme]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

My husband has a three year old child (will be four in May) with a lady that he was never in a relationship with. Paternity was only established at an Administrative level to determine and collect child support. Legal Paternity has not yet been established and no court order exists for custody and visitation.

The child's mother has been insanely OBSESSED with my husband for many, many years. This fact is common knowledge of anyone that has ever been a significant part of my husband's life since his teens, including his ex wife, friends and family. She has always tried to use the child as a pawn to make my husband want to be with her as in, that was the only way that he would be able to have a relationship with his child.

She is sporadic at best about when she will allow contact and 90% of the time or more she insists that the child doesn't go unless she stays there with the child. There have been the very rare occasions where she has let the child come and visit for a day or two. There have been several occasions where she will simply disappear off of the face of the earth for months at a time and my husband wont even have a way of contacting her at all. On many occasions (including the present) she has had to live in homeless shelters with herself, her daugher, and her's and my husband's son. She is a chronic drug abuser but we don't have any real proof of that other than a paraphenalia charge.

My husband didn't find out that she had a child and that she believed the child to be my husband's until the child was one year old. My husband took the initiative to take the information to our local Department of Family Services office and asked for a paternity test because (up to this point) him and her had only had sexual relations once and the young lady was known to be very promiscuous. This action by my husband is the only reason he is even paying child support.

Since my husband found out the child was his for sure and been paying support for the child he has always tried to have as much contact with the child as she would allow but as I explained before it always had to be under her conditions.

More than anything my husband wants to be able to have a relationship with his child without her interference and without it having to be in her presence. The only reason that my husband has not pursued his rights to do so is out of fear of rocking the boat. This woman has threatened my husband that if he ever pursued custodial rights to his child that she would just claim that the child was concieved by rape and that she would press criminal rape charges against him.

Now, of course, any such claims or charges would be completely fabricated however my husband is concerned that women are always believed and that once the allegation is even made that he will end up being known as a sex offender, when he is not. This woman would only be doing this maliciously to hurt my husband, and over the years, since the conception (supposed date of the rape) there have been many other times that she had sexual relations with my husband in a casual manner (prior to him getting married).

I have tried to encourage my husband to ignore her threats and to pursue his rights to his child but he is worried about having to fight a criminal case while trying to prove to a Judge that he is a good father on a civil matter.

1.   What is the statute of limitations on rape?

2.   What are the chances of such an allegation being taken seriously instead of for the malicious act that it would be?

3.   Would such a claim make it harder for my husband to get joint legal and physical custody of his child?

Any and all advice, suggestions and oppinions that anyone could offer my husband would be very appreciated. Thank you, in advance, for your time.

[socrateaser]

>1.   What is the statute of limitations on rape?

I don't know MO penal code.

>
>2.   What are the chances of such an allegation being taken
>seriously instead of for the malicious act that it would be?

Cold cases are hard to prove. DA will probably yawn.

>
>3.   Would such a claim make it harder for my husband to get
>joint legal and physical custody of his child?

If it was taken seriously, yes, but it probably won't be.

Don't discuss this with anyone other than an attorney. Criminal matters are not to be triffled with, and loose lips sink ships.

[justlilolme]

Thank you so much for your answers.

So if my husband pursues custody and visitation rights would he be better served to file for sole or joint custody?  He would be content enough with joint legal and physical (50/50) but we are concerned that if he does not seek to remove the child from the situation that he is in that his concerns wont be taken seriously.

Is there anything to be over concerned with about her having his child living in a homeless shelter instead of her providing him with a home?

Could her not being able to provide a home give my husband grounds for sole (or at least primary residential) custody?

[socrateaser]

>Thank you so much for your answers.
>
>So if my husband pursues custody and visitation rights would
>he be better served to file for sole or joint custody?  

If you file for sole, you will have to demonstrate why the other parent should have no say in the child's health and welfare. Tough burden to meet.

>
>Is there anything to be over concerned with about her having
>his child living in a homeless shelter instead of her
>providing him with a home?

I'd say a homeless shelter isn't exactly in the child's best interests, and this is worth bringing to the court's attention. Of course the flip side is that the court could hit you with more support in order to facilitate the mother getting out of the homeless shelter.

>Could her not being able to provide a home give my husband
>grounds for sole (or at least primary residential) custody?

See above. It's still a two-edged sword. The question is why is the mother in the shelter? If the answer is purely economic, then the question is, will providing more support to the mother put the father in a homeless shelter? If not, then watch out.

You need to show that no reasonably available amount of support will cause the mother's circumstances to improve because she is not capable of managing her affairs in the child's best interests. That's your case. I don't know if you can prove the case, but that's what I'd want to prove.