What to do?

[kaylene99]

Hi soc,

Need your help and advice on this one.

Husband and ex-wife were ordered in 2001 to attend a mediation which they both did.  Basically, the arrangement agreed upon by both parties in that mediation is for husband to have the kids 2 weekends a month (this is in addition to holidays he should have with the kids as outlined in their divorce order).  He will arrange for their roundtrip flight one weekend and, for the other weekend, he will pick the kids up from their residence and ex-wife is to pick them up from our residence with husband giving her $35 for her car rental fee.  She made a sobbing story of how she drives an old, unreliable car which will not make it to our residence (what a lie!).  Anyway, we agreed to the $35 which is really a small fee in exchange for more time with the kids.

Husband tried to fully abide by this mediation order in the past with the ex-wife not doing her end of the deal past a couple of times.  Every weekend that husband proposed that they "share" the travel per mediation order, ex-wife countered with it not being a good weekend,  her husband is working and she doesn't want to drive alone, blah, blah, blah!  Since we can't afford the kids' roundtrip flight two weekends a month, we resorted to what we could afford which was one weekend a month.  

Due to recent events involving kids' poor school grades and stepson's disrespectful attitude and behavior towards husband (which really is just his way of asking for more time spent with Dad), we realized that it was a mistake not holding ex-wife down to the visitation and mediation orders that give us more time with the kids.

How can husband effectively encourage ex-wife to abide by the mediation order?  This is almost a funny question to ask since we know she will just make all kinds of excuses and effectively resist.  Another question is this:  the mediation order was done in County A but we live in County B and ex-wife lives in County C.  Which county should we file contempt of court in?  Could we register mediation order from County A to County C?

Last but certainly not the least, could you help us with the wording or phrasing as far as encouraging the ex-wife to abide by the mediation order?  We want to be direct-to-the-point without sounding threatening.

Thank you, soc!

[socrateaser]

I'm not gonna pick through your facts to find the various questions. Thanks in advance.

[kaylene99]

Hi soc,

Need your help and advice on this one.

Husband and ex-wife were ordered in 2001 to attend a mediation which they both did. Basically, the arrangement agreed upon by both parties in that mediation is for husband to have the kids 2 weekends a month (this is in addition to holidays he should have with the kids as outlined in their divorce order). He will arrange for their roundtrip flight one weekend and, for the other weekend, he will pick the kids up from their residence and ex-wife is to pick them up from our residence with husband giving her $35 for her car rental fee. She made a sobbing story of how she drives an old, unreliable car which will not make it to our residence (what a lie!). Anyway, we agreed to the $35 which is really a small fee in exchange for more time with the kids.

Husband tried to fully abide by this mediation order in the past with the ex-wife not doing her end of the deal past a couple of times. Every weekend that husband proposed that they "share" the travel per mediation order, ex-wife countered with it not being a good weekend, her husband is working and she doesn't want to drive alone, blah, blah, blah! Since we can't afford the kids' roundtrip flight two weekends a month, we resorted to what we could afford which was one weekend a month.

Due to recent events involving kids' poor school grades and stepson's disrespectful attitude and behavior towards husband (which really is just his way of asking for more time spent with Dad), we realized that it was a mistake not holding ex-wife down to the visitation and mediation orders that give us more time with the kids.

Questions are:

1.  How can husband effectively encourage ex-wife to abide by the mediation order? This is almost a funny question to ask since we know she will just make all kinds of excuses and effectively resist.

2.  Mediation order was done in County A but we live in County B and ex-wife lives in County C.  Which county should we file contempt of court in? Could we register mediation order from County A to County C?

3.  How many denials or frustration of visitation can ex-wife do to get a strong case against her in court?  We don't want court to think of our case as "petty".

4.  Could you help us with the wording or phrasing as far as encouraging the ex-wife to abide by the mediation order? We want to be direct-to-the-point without sounding threatening.

Thank you, soc!

[socrateaser]

>Questions are:
>
>1.  How can husband effectively encourage ex-wife to abide by
>the mediation order? This is almost a funny question to ask
>since we know she will just make all kinds of excuses and
>effectively resist.

File for either an enforcement/clarification order, or for contempt. It seems fairly obvious that this parent is intentionally frustrating your access to the child, so ask her to please stop or you will be forced to get relief from the court.

>
>2.  Mediation order was done in County A but we live in County
>B and ex-wife lives in County C.  Which county should we file
>contempt of court in? Could we register mediation order from
>County A to County C?

If you want a change of venue, then you need to file for that motion, first, and get the court to move the case to a different county. Otherwise, you should file in County A, assuming that this is the current venue.  

>
>3.  How many denials or frustration of visitation can ex-wife
>do to get a strong case against her in court?  We don't want
>court to think of our case as "petty".

It could be only one denial if your proof is strong enough. It all comes down to whether you have evidence of contempt beyong all reasonable doubt. However, if you file for an enforcement/clarification order, i.e., an order intended to obtain a more certain set of orders so as to prevent future difficulties, then the burden is only preponderence of the evidence, and probably your testimony alone as to the difficulties encountered would be sufficient.

>
>4.  Could you help us with the wording or phrasing as far as
>encouraging the ex-wife to abide by the mediation order? We
>want to be direct-to-the-point without sounding threatening.

You try first, then I'll review and edit.