CP question

[someonewhocares]

My friend is the CP of her two children. They live in Oklahoma and her ex is not exercise his visitation. All he wants is eveyother weekend all year long (no holiday or summer visitation). The kids are having a hard time with not seeing their daddy often and when she talked to him about it he stated that he "can not help it I have a life and you do not". The question is:

1. is there is anything that she can do to make him exercise his visitation? (I know this sounds funny but she just wants what is best for her children.)

[socrateaser]

>1. is there is anything that she can do to make him exercise
>his visitation? (I know this sounds funny but she just wants
>what is best for her children.)

About the only thing that you can do is to file a motion to have child support modified, to increase the non-custodial parent's support obligation because he is not exercising visitation according to what was originally contemplated by the court orders.

However, as a PRACTICAL matter, doing this will probably alienate the father from his children to an extent even greater than he is already -- and the result will be that the father will likely want absolutely nothing to do with the children.

I don't know how old the kids are, but maybe they should call or write their father and tell him how badly they miss him.

***Any other contributors to this board who may have suggestions on how to deal with this circumstance, please feel free to offer them -- this is not a question where the law can be of much help.

[leftoverinmn]

I feel so terrible for those children.

Why do we have laws that put a father in jail for not paying child support, but the government doesn't care about time spent with the children? It's backwards.

I have offered my child's father his CS payment back to take our son on weekends. I used the excuse of understanding he needed gas money, he can take him to the arcade, or McD's, to the zoo. I also offered to drop all the CS proceedings if he would take him EOW.

I don't know what your friend's financial situation is, but maybe that would motivate BF.

[wendl]

Well when I lived  4 miles from my ex he did not exercise his visitation either now we live 500 miles and he was all I want our son this much bla bla bla, we haven't heard from him since the end of December.

I filed contempt for him non taking his visitation and not paying his cs, the judge told him to grow up and take care of his responsiblities and that this fine looking young man (our son) will suffer because of it.  That was 6yrs ago.

In short you cannot force a person to exercise their visitation, do not lie or make excuses to the kids because of your ex, my son is 13 now has finally stood up to his dad and has really no relationship with him but on holidays (as my son goes to his parents, they are great)

It is your ex's loss. The kids will learn later in life the real truth. The more you try to force visitation the more your ex will think you are controlling or trying to control him.

Wish I could give you better news, but like I said I tried and tried for 13yrs and now I no longer try, I told his dad 4yrs ago that I would not try any longer, that the ball was in his court if he wanted a good relationship with our son.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[someonewhocares]

The kids are boy 6 and girl 3. The girl he has lost, she thinks it is fun to go there for a few hours but then wants to be at home. My friends husband now is the one her daughter calls daddy. He takes care of them. The boy is the one having a real hard time with it. He came home yesterday from his grandmothers and told his mom that his daddy came over and told him that he was not going to get to come over for the summer b/c his mother would not allow it.

[MommyX4StepX1]

I am an adult who as a child my father refused many weekend visitation with us because of his busy life with all his many girlfriends.

 I can tell you that the children will grow up and know that dad was too busy for them and will resent him for it.

If the kids want to know WHY they don't see daddy that much, don't make excuses for the dad. Have the children ask dad that question.
Don't tell the children daddy doesn't want to see them , kids are smart they WILL figure that out on their own.
Make dad answer those tough questions and just be there for the kids.
If they are angry or hurt by dad's decision, let them know they CAN talk to mom about it and that's it's okay to feel that way.

Good Luck!!