strategy at hearing

[ccmidaho]

We have a hearing in a few weeks on a motion to change visitation. We are pretty confident that a change in visitation will be granted as the child was an infant when original agreement was signed and the parenting agreement indicates the intent to start overnights at 12-18 months and increase the amount of time with the father over time (none of which has happened and child is now 16 months.) Father is a great father and is spotless. There is no reason to deny him more time and he's gone to extraordinary lengths to be involved with his son over the last 16 months.     We are trying to figure out if the mother's deliberate attempts to keep the father out of child's life are relevant to the argument.

Here are examples of how she is behaving:

-refusing to communicate except by email and in many cases she doesn't respond to email
-during all dropoffs she has friends over and won't let him talk to her; she refuses to say a word to him when she picks up
-We have asked for a list of the childs activities during her custodial time so father can attend and she doesn't respond (this is explicity stated in parenting agreement that father has a right to do this)
-She refers father to her attorney whenever he asks for more time per their parenting agreement.
- Her attorney also doesn't respond to our attorneys attempts to contact.  The only thing that her attorney has responded to was the motion to change the schedule as required. Her response was the same schedule we already have with one additional hour. They have supplied no reason for why they will not give more time
-Mother doesn't inform father about important things like emergency room visits
-mother resists all attempts for the father to be involved (won't let him take the child to the doctor for checkups, refused to allow him to make any decisions about daycare etc).
-mother refuses to let the father occasionally take time out of work and take the kid out of daycare for a few hours even though she would be at work at that time

Most of this behavior we can prove either through email or recording her conversations. Father just wants more time and is not trying to take the kid away from the mother in any way.

Questions:

1. Is any of her behavior relevant to the question of whether the father should have substantially more time?  Is it relevant to anything?

2. Given that there is no possible argument for not giving the father more time (the kid is in daycare 40 hours a week!), what should our attorney be prepared to argue in the hearing? We can't imagine what they will say...

3. Money is not an issue for us and it is an issue for her - what should be the strategy in the hearing regarding what to ask for as evidence for trial (evaluator? home study?). AGAIN, this dad is spotless and has done all the right things.

4. Do you have any other advice for what we should do to have a successful argument? We have the resources to do anything that is necessary.

Thank you

[socrateaser]

>Questions:
>
>1. Is any of her behavior relevant to the question of whether
>the father should have substantially more time?  Is it
>relevant to anything?

Not really. I wouldn't emphasize the negatives of the other parent. I would just show how you are a positive influence in the child's life and ask for more time, because there's no reason for the court to restrain your visitation.

>2. Given that there is no possible argument for not giving the
>father more time (the kid is in daycare 40 hours a week!),
>what should our attorney be prepared to argue in the hearing?
>We can't imagine what they will say...

I'm not sure that there is an argument, other than that mother gets very little time with the child, because she's at work most of the week. The only other argument is that the child needs to be breast fed, but, that's what bottles are for.

>
>3. Money is not an issue for us and it is an issue for her -
>what should be the strategy in the hearing regarding what to
>ask for as evidence for trial (evaluator? home study?). AGAIN,
>this dad is spotless and has done all the right things.

Emphasize the positives of your relationship and don't denegrate the other parent. You want to show that you have no hostiltity -- just love for your child. If the other parent wants to assert that you are hostile, that will show her hostility.

>4. Do you have any other advice for what we should do to have
>a successful argument? We have the resources to do anything
>that is necessary.
>

I really don't think that there's much to argue about. As long as you're a fit parent, the judge will probably rule based upon his/her belief that very young children need mothers more (or less). It's gonna be a completely wild guess on the judge's part.

[ccmidaho]

One other topic for you. I work in the business world and the world of litigation is baffling to me.

Why do attorney's not respond to each other?  Even when they tell you they will respond they often don't. Is this part of their strategy and if so, what are they trying to accomplish when they do this?

Thanks for your help!

[socrateaser]

>Why do attorney's not respond to each other?  Even when they
>tell you they will respond they often don't. Is this part of
>their strategy and if so, what are they trying to accomplish
>when they do this?

Attorneys are mostly born reactionaries -- we try to avoid action until absolutely necessary. Exception for class action attorneys who like to go after big fish. So, most of the time, an attorney has too many cases and too little time, so everything waits for the last second or later.

Just the way it is.