How to get past status quo?

[dipper]

Soc,

BM takes ss to doctor visits, she attends the IEP meetings, she will not allow dh to do anything with ss on his own.  DH is not informed of dr. visits in advance, and has received no updates from her since ss left the hospital - he only gets bills.  He was also not informed of ss' last IEP meeting until after she went -and he does have a standing request at the school for such.

DH took ss to a Shriner's clinic and in doing what is right, he listed bm's address as the primary residence along with our address.  Shriner's accepted ss and sent the confirmation out to bm's address along with the appt. card.  She says, in writing, that they 'chose' her to attend.  She even sent a copy of the letter - which accepts ss, thanks her for the application - which we filled out, and states that one parent needs to attend with ss.  Yet, she refuses to allow dh to go..saying they wanted HER.

Burn camp - she made the sole decision to send ss even though it began on Father's Day (which was dh's time) and even though it meant ss would miss two days of school.  Not that dh would refuse, but he didnt have any input at all.  She allows dh to drive ss to burn camp, but she has to meet us there.  And as for pick-up she states that he can pick him up, but she will be there as well.  She didnt send us the list of items needed, so she brings all of those - though, ss said he was packed Friday.

This is a 2 hour drive for her to burn camp.  So, we get lost a dozen times and get there an hour later than the suggested time...She and dh walk ss to his cabin and say goodbye....thats it!  Oh, and she did give the lady vitamins for ss - though she has not sent any with him here since his second weekend back...

Soc,  I know the court looks at who does for ss now.  

How do we get around the fact that dh is not allowed to do anything for his own son without her in the middle of it?


Will all of this help to show how 'controlling' she is?

[socrateaser]

>How do we get around the fact that dh is not allowed to do
>anything for his own son without her in the middle of it?
>
>
>Will all of this help to show how 'controlling' she is?
>

It is somewhat unusual for a boy to prefer his mother. You need to figure out how to cultivate the relationship so that the child wants to spend his time with Dad. When that happens, Mom will lose her power. Until it does, you will be forever on the defensive.