What can I do??

[Clay25]

Hi,
First  I want to say that I am not a U.S.Citizen and  live outside the U.S.

me and my ex-wife got divorced in Kansas back in 1997 and have joint custody of the child. With physical residency with the mother and liberal visitation for me. She is also ordered to let me know 30 days before she move of the new address.

Now the hole thing started a few weeks after I left the United States in 1997. Back then i told my ex that she needed to wait a bit for the child support until i had found a job in the country i moved to. I said I would help her out as best as i could until I had a job.

It was not good enough for her and she said that when I dont pay right away. I would never see my child again. The next time I called the number it was disconnected and she did not answer my letters.

 Almost 8 years went by before I found them again. my ex had changed her first name and last name legally and had moved quit a bit with out letting me know like it was stated on the divorce papers.

She said that she notified me at the address I gave her but the letters came back to her. This is not possible because the same people that lived back then at this address live there today and they have never gotten a thing.

 Now after 3 months of contact she is starting with the same thing again.
She wont give me any real information on my child. I ask for medical records or school records. I ask her for the name and #of the doctor or school so I can get some info myself and nothing.

  She tells me that my child needs something and she needs money for it.
I say I will send what she needs instead of the money.  

She gets mad, starts to call me name and that i had abandoned my child although she was the one that moved with out letting me know. now she said that she wont let me talk to my child again. That no matter when I call she wont be home.

Also she said that she had changed our childs last name when we got divorced but it is not stated on my copy of the divorce papers.



1. Is there any actions I can take for what she has done? or at least for what she is tryng to do again.

2. Can she change the last name of the child when we got divorced and it not be stated on my papers?

3. What kind of paper work would I need for a school or a doctor to give me info on my child?

 
Thanks

[wendl]

Sorry SOC :).

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[socrateaser]

The Rules of Professional Conduct prohibit an attorney from assisting a layperson in the rendering of professional legal judgment for third party, i.e., the application of facts and law so as to provide an analysis and reach a legal conclusion, unless the attorney maintains careful supervisory control over the layperson and assumes all liability for that person's actions.

Your post contains the essential elements of the process, i.e., Facts, Issue, Rule, Analysis, Conclusion (aka FIRAC).

While your opinions "may" be protected by the First Amendment right to freedom of speech, if I permit you to render those opinions as legal advice while I have the ability to prevent it, then I become ultimately responsible for supervising your work and liable for your results, and I can't afford that.

So, please feel free to discuss your experiences on this message board or to render emotional support for others, but do not analyze the person's case and render a legal conclusion on their behalf, or I will be forced to delete your posts, in order to protect myself from discipline by the State Bar under the laws of every jurisdiction in which your advice may have a predominant effect.

What you do on the other message boards here, or anywhere else, is, of course, your business, and not mine.

And, certainly you are welcome to share your experience with others, as well as to make any statement of law, as long as you do not render a conclusion (give advice based on a legal analysis of the poster's facts).

Thanks in advance!

[socrateaser]

>1. Is there any actions I can take for what she has done? or
>at least for what she is tryng to do again.

In order for me to analyze your circumstances, I will need to read the exact text of your custody and support orders. You may post it here (without the real names, of course), or you may email it to me at [email protected] (although I don't promise that I will read your email as quickly as I will read posts here -- I rarely read my email).

>2. Can she change the last name of the child when we got
>divorced and it not be stated on my papers?

To legally change the child's name, a judge must order it, either as part of the dissolution judgment or by a separate name change judgment. Since you've been away, she may have done the latter, and obtained a default judgment changing the child's name, because she couldn't locate you to give notice of the hearing.

In short, yes, she can do it.

>3. What kind of paper work would I need for a school or a
>doctor to give me info on my child?

I need to read your orders.

[Clay25]

 CHILD CUSTODY, VISITATION AND SUPPORT:

 The wife acknowledges that she is not currently pregnant. Both parties agree that they are fit and proper parents to have joint legal custody of the minor child born of this marriage. Joint custody means that both parties shall
have the right to make major decisions in the best interest of the child.

 The Childs actual physical residency shall be with the wife. Husband shall have reasonable and liberal visitation. as may be arranged by mutual agreement between husband and wife. With the appropriate consideration to the age of the child and her academic. social. and psychological needs.
 
the parent with whom the child is physically present shall take responsibility for meeting medical and/or dental emergencies, and in an emergency, the permission of both parties shall not be necessary. That parent will promptly notify the other parent.

 Each parent shall be entitled to receive and obtain medical information including copies of any reports from any medical provider, and said provider, upon request, shall provide and furnish to the parent any medical documents.

 Each parent shall beentitled to receive and obtain school information from any teacher or school regarding the child. Said teacher or school shall upon request, provide the parents with copies of all reports and any other pertinent information regarding said child.

CHILD SUPPORT
 The husband shall pay two hundred dollars ($200:00) per month for the support of the parties minor child. Payment of support shall commence on the 1st day of june, 1997 and shall continue on the first day of each and every month thereafter until the first occurrence of any of the following events:

a. death of a child;

b. a child's 18th birthday, if the child has completed his or her high school education;

C. the first day of june of the school year during which a child becomes age 18, if the child turns 18 while in high school;

d. a court order terminating or modifying this support obligation.

 In the event of (a), (b), or (c), above, child support shall be reduced on a pro rata basis. The amount of child support is in accordance with the Kansas Child Support Guidelines as shown by the Child Support Worksheet attached to this agreement.

All child support payments shall be made payable to the order of th Clerk of the District Court except for good cause shown; and that each party shall inform the Clerk of the District Court in writing of any change of name, residence, and employer with business address within seven (7) days after such change.

 The withholding of income shall be according to KSA 1991 Supp 23-4, 107 which states"...all new or modified orders for support entered on or after July 1, 1993, in all other cases shall provide for immediate issuance of an income withholding order."

That payments shall be paid through the Clerk of the District Court, PO Box 1147 junction City , Kansas 66441, and a fee(unless waived by the Court) shall be deducted therefrom by the clerk to defray the expenses of the operation of the office of the court trustee.

 Wife agrees to provide medical insurance coverage for the minor child when such coverage is available to her through her employment. Wife and
husband agree to each pay half of non covered medical expenses.

Both parties acknowledge that the parent with residential placement must give written notice to the other parent not less than 21 days prior to changing the child's residence outside the state of her residence, or removing the minor child from the state for a period of time exceeding 90 days. Such notice shall be sent by restricted mail. return receipt requested.

 
  2 more questions about the name change:

 1. If she had an address to contact me but lied to the court and said she did not know. But she did, would this be considered as breaking the law?

 2. Is there anyway I can get a copy of the name change order for my records?

[socrateaser]

1. Is there any actions I can take for what she has done? or
>at least for what she is tryng to do again.

OK, your orders grant you joint custody. So, a court would not order a name change, unless you failed to appear at a hearing after notice per state law in the jurisdiction where the name change was filed. However, as I have already mentioned, she could have told the court that you had disappeared, and your failure to make support payments would be credible evidence in support, so it's possible that she could have obtained a judgment changing the child's name.

>3. What kind of paper work would I need for a school or a
>doctor to give me info on my child?

Your court orders grant you joint custody. This gives you a right to make decisions regarding both healthcare and schooling for the child. Providing a copy of your court orders to any physician or educational institution should be sufficient for you to obtain whatever records you wish from those sources.


> 1. If she had an address to contact me but lied to the court
>and said she did not know. But she did, would this be
>considered as breaking the law?

If she stated that she attempted to serve you but was unable to locate you, then that would not necessarily be a material falsification. You have an obligation to keep the other parent notified of your whereabouts, therefore if you left the country and did not provide a forwarding address, then you are technically in contempt of court, and she has done nothing wrong.

>
> 2. Is there anyway I can get a copy of the name change order
>for my records?

You can call the court clerk at the courthouse in the county where the child resides, and ask if there is a case filed under your ex's or your name for a name change. The clerk will tell you how you can obtain a copy of any judgment.

Lastly, be advised, that your failure to pay support is creating a very large arrearage as well as a liability for statutory interest that is well above ordinary market rates (likely around 10% per year). Such arrearages, if they exceed $5,000, when the obligor has traveled outside of the border of the State with jurisdiction, are chargable as a misdemeanor under Federal law, and if they exceed $10,000, a FELONY.

At $200 per month, you will be over the first limit in 25 months, and the second in 50. This is a VERY serious problem, that could create a situation wherein you will never be able to return to the U.S. and, if you are a citizen of a country in which there is reciprocal enforcement of civil/criminal orders for support, you could find yourself being arrested or having your assets seized as a consequence.

I STRONGLY suggest that you obtain some local legal advice from counsel in your country of citizenship concerning these issues, sooner rather than later.

[Clay25]

>If she stated that she attempted to serve you but was unable
>to locate you, then that would not necessarily be a material
>falsification. You have an obligation to keep the other parent
>notified of your whereabouts, therefore if you left the
>country and did not provide a forwarding address, then you are
>technically in contempt of court, and she has done nothing
>wrong.

 Well she had 3 addresses and 2 telephone # to contact me at.  1 has not changed since I left the country.  She even told me the addresses she send the letters to. She said they all came back. This is not possible because one of those addresses is still good today.

>Lastly, be advised, that your failure to pay support is
>creating a very large arrearage as well as a liability for
>statutory interest that is well above ordinary market rates
>(likely around 10% per year). Such arrearages, if they exceed
>$5,000, when the obligor has traveled outside of the border of
>the State with jurisdiction, are chargable as a misdemeanor
>under Federal law, and if they exceed $10,000, a FELONY.

>At $200 per month, you will be over the first limit in 25
>months, and the second in 50. This is a VERY serious problem,
>that could create a situation wherein you will never be able
>to return to the U.S. and, if you are a citizen of a country
>in which there is reciprocal enforcement of civil/criminal
>orders for support, you could find yourself being arrested or
>having your assets seized as a consequence.

  There is no agreement between my country and the U.S.  The only reason I  stopped payment was when she disappeared with my child. She takes my kid away for almost 8 years and I should pay her for it too.  Since I found them, I started to send her money for child support (w/recipt).

But when she wants something more from me she will threaten to take away the contact with my child again.

  1. Can she just stop the contact between me and my child when she feels like it?

2. If she does what actions can I take?



 

[socrateaser]

>  There is no agreement between my country and the U.S.  The
>only reason I  stopped payment was when she disappeared with
>my child. She takes my kid away for almost 8 years and I
>should pay her for it too.  Since I found them, I started to
>send her money for child support (w/recipt).
>
>But when she wants something more from me she will threaten to
>take away the contact with my child again.
>
>  1. Can she just stop the contact between me and my child
>when she feels like it?

If she can show returned mail addressed to your alleged locations, then she will have credible proof of her being unable to locate you. You also have a duty to keep the court informed of your mailing address, and I doubt that you have done this.

She can't just stop contact, but if she can show that she tried to contact you and was unable to do so, then her inability is not willful and therefore is not contempt. Furthermore, not permitting you to visit or contact your child is not a lawful excuse for refusing to pay child support. The two issues are completely separate. If you couldn't pay, you would still have the right of visitation, and conversely, if the parent refuses to permit visitation, that doesn't give you the right to refuse to pay.

Your recourse is to file a contempt motion and enforce your visitation rights. Frankly, you are completely in the wrong, legally speaking, in this entire affair, and although this may not comport with your personal sense of justice and morality, it is, nevertheless, highly likely to be found true in court. So, you need to accept this and then try to deal with your circumstances.

Don't shoot the messenger...I'm just telling you where it's at, not making a value judgment.

>
>2. If she does what actions can I take?

At the moment, if you were to file for a contempt motion on grounds that the mother was refusing to permit you access to the child, you would almost certainly be faced with a complaint for failure to pay support. You would have to appear in a court in the U.S., or at least your attorney would, and at that point, the judge would probably enforce your visitation rights and simultaneously issue a warrant for your arrest, so that the first time you attempted to exercise those rights your visitation would be through steel bars.

You need to pay your arrears, before you start whining about not being able to see your child. If you don't, you will not get a sympathetic ear from the court. And, if I were actually representing you as your attorney, that's what I would tell you.