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[kevkermit]

I hired an attorney to deal with problems having with ncp being so difficult when it comes to extracurricular activities.  Attorney explained had to get judge to refer us to the FOC.

 Today I receive paperwork from FOC stating:  It is my understanding that you and the other parent are unable to agree as to parenting time arrangement and an orer for referral has been made.  It is my job to complete an investigation and make a recommendation regarding parenting time if parents are unable to resolve this issue.  Please find enclose a parent questionnaire and authorization for release of information form.  I have scheduled meeting for Thurs November 17 so that I can explain the investigative process and offer alternatives for resolution of the parenting issues.

1) What does investigation entail?
2) Is this the norm?  
3) My attorney said this would be the best way to handle parenting time issues as judge would more than likely refer us to the foc for a referral anyway, Is this the norm?

Thanks for the input

[socrateaser]

>1) What does investigation entail?

The investigator wants to know what the dispute is about, what each of your respective positions is, whether the child has any independent interest, and what is ultimately in the child(ren)'s best interests.

The parents may have a visit at each home to see how you both interact with the child(ren).

The judge wants an objective, disinterested party to look at the situation and make recommendations. If you think that the recommendations are unjust or inappropriate, you can bring the matter to a hearing before the judge and try to demonstrate why the investigator's recommendations should be given less weight than your own.

>2) Is this the norm?  

Yes.


>3) My attorney said this would be the best way to handle
>parenting time issues as judge would more than likely refer us
>to the foc for a referral anyway, Is this the norm?

Already, asked and answered.

>
>Thanks for the input
>
>

[kevkermit]

One of the issues is sleeping arrangements for the children as the ncp had our 16 yr old son and 14 yr old daughter sleeping on the floor in a bedroom with a 35 yr old handicapped woman and a 16 yr old girl.  Since I mentioned that I hired an attorney to deal with this matter the ncp has been taking our children every other weekend over to the grandparents house to sleep (dropping them off and picking them up at times to spend some time together).  At the grandparents house the 16 yr old has bedroom and 14 yr old daughter sleeps on couch.  

If a home study is done:

1) will the home study be done at the ncp's home or the ncp's parents home?

2) What is a likely outcome for a situation like this or what is a reasonable request for the court?

[socrateaser]

>If a home study is done:
>
>1) will the home study be done at the ncp's home or the ncp's
>parents home?

If you bring the housing issues to the attention of the evaluator, then the home study will cover both locations.

>2) What is a likely outcome for a situation like this or what
>is a reasonable request for the court?

Does this issue really adversely affect the children in some substantial manner? If it does, then this will get a great deal of attention from the court. But, if not, then it's irrelevant.

Don't try to manufacture a case where none exists. If there's a genuine problem with the sleeping arrangements, then raise it as an issue. Otherwise, leave it alone, because it may backfire against you.

[kevkermit]

I guess I didn't feel a 16 yr old male sleeping on the floor in a room with 3 other females was appropriate and needed to be addressed by the court.  
Thought there were requirements after a certain age that boys and girls were not to share bedrooms.  

I can understand what you are saying if I was trying to manufacture a case but I am simply stating facts.  Boys and girls at this age should not be sharing rooms and my son has complained because sleeping on that floor hurts his back.

Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.

[socrateaser]

>I guess I didn't feel a 16 yr old male sleeping on the floor
>in a room with 3 other females was appropriate and needed to
>be addressed by the court.  
>Thought there were requirements after a certain age that boys
>and girls were not to share bedrooms.  
>
>I can understand what you are saying if I was trying to
>manufacture a case but I am simply stating facts.  Boys and
>girls at this age should not be sharing rooms and my son has
>complained because sleeping on that floor hurts his back.
>
>Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.

No requirements. Obviously, there is a certain risk associated with adolescent children of opposite sex sharing the same space, and clearly, children of this age should have some privacy space.

But, the question is whether or not this activity is actually having, or reasonably likely to have, an adverse affect, not just whether or not it "should" be appropriate.

I suspect that the evaluator won't find the sleeping arrangements particularly suitable, but the first solution is to try to make more space, not necessarily to modify custody or parenting time.

[kevkermit]

Thanks, the modification came in regarding extracurricular activities and attorney said we could throw it in since we were addressing the extracurriculars and transportation anyway.  

I truthfully want the ncp and our children to have a good relationship but the children should be comfortable in their place with the ncp also.  Especially being the ncp has been living in the same place now since 1996 and at one time our children did have their own bed.  Not necessarily their own room, but atleast their own space where they had some privacy.  

Basically all I am requesting out of this whole deal is that the ncp be responsible for transportation to extracurricular/educational activities during his parenting time and I be responsible during my parenting time.  Our children not be denied the opportunity to participate becasue these activities interfere with parenting time.

Our son be given his own space regarding sleeping arrangements.  He not be required to sleep in a room with 3 girls.  

Thanks again,  I really appreciate your input.