Temperary Custody GRANTED, questions

[littlebitt]

First, a quick thanks for all your help!  You are part of the reason that me and my son are in this great position right now!  Many thanks are just not enough!!

Background:  Divorced in 1999 in Alabama, Father (me) retained custody.  Mother gains custody in 2001 due to her not working, and Father must use daycare 40 hrs per week for child.  Father has enlarged visitation.

In 2002, Mother refuses to take child to court ordered physchologist;  refuses many of Father's visitaitons, allows no phone contact;  attempts to exclude Father from school functions and information;  many PAS issues;  

In 2003, Mother arrested for disorderly conduct (against Father) at child's church program;  Child misses 43 days of school;  Mother withdraws child from school and begins "home-schooling";  Father files for custody.

In 2004, Mother files for RO;  RO denied and Father is granted weekly phone calls with child!  GAL report favors Father for custody!

Court has been re-scheduled 4 times.  On the forth time, judge said that Mother can go to the scheduled court date and lose, or she can have her continuance and give Father temporary custody in the mean time.  This is what happened...Here is the exact wording of the court order:

It is hereby ordered by the court, by agreement of the parties:

1.  The case is continued by agreement of the parties.

2.  That the Plantiff-Father is hereby awarded temporary custody of the minor child, son, until a hearing upon the merits.

3.  The Defendant-Mother shall have visitaion with son every 1st, 2nd, & 4th weekend from 4pm on Friday until 6pm on Sunday.  

4  The mother shall be allowed telephone conversations with son on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and all other times agreeable to the parties.

5.  The mother shall have contact with school and teachers to check on the monor child's progress.

6.  The mother shall have the ability to attend all school funcitons.

7.  The mother shall pick up and return the minor child from visitation.

8.  The above styled cause is reset for trial for January 12, 2006 at 10:00 am.

QUESTIONS
1) Am I obligated to allow Mother the same Thanksgiving and Christmas visitations that I have had in the past, although the temporary order does not specify that?

2) Stratigically, is it in my best interest to allow Mother the extra holiday times?

3) I have provided Mother with pertinent school information so far.  Should I inform her of every PTA meeting, field trip, grades, etc.?  Or let her make the inquiries from the school?

4) Should I ask for continuances in order to establish status-quo as long as possible?

THANKS,
LittleBitt's Dad

[socrateaser]

>QUESTIONS
>1) Am I obligated to allow Mother the same Thanksgiving and
>Christmas visitations that I have had in the past, although
>the temporary order does not specify that?

No. Your obligation is to follow the logical "AND" of all valid and enforceable orders. That is, if something was granted previously, and not taken away, then it remains in force, along with any newer orders. Sometimes, this means a conflict, because judges and attorneys frequently don't look carefully enough at the previous orders to prevent an impossible condition. Anyway, if the mother is granted holiday time, then you're obligated, otherwise your not.

>
>2) Stratigically, is it in my best interest to allow Mother
>the extra holiday times?

Strategically, it probably is in YOUR best interest to deny the child any time at all. However, it's not likely in your CHILD'S best interest to do this, and that is what the judge cares about. Don't try to maintain the war. Try to do what your ex has refused to do, i.e., cooperate in the child's best interersts.

>
>3) I have provided Mother with pertinent school information so
>far.  Should I inform her of every PTA meeting, field trip,
>grades, etc.?  Or let her make the inquiries from the school?

Same answer as #2.

>
>4) Should I ask for continuances in order to establish
>status-quo as long as possible?

I cannot advise this, because to do so is to encourage you to engage in an abuse of the legal process. However, it is a fact that the court will be extremely reluctant to change a status quo that is working well, so the longer it exists in that state, the greater the likelihood that you will be granted permanent primary custody.

As a practical matter, once a judge has taken the big step of reversing custody due to the other parent's bad conduct, a second reversal is almost inconceivable, unless you start emulating the other parent's bad conduct.

So...don't do dat! Be a good parent for your kid, go to court and get it all over with as soon as you can. Then, move on in the spirit of cooperation. After all, what could be better than to have to healthy involved parents in the child's life?

I can't think of anything, can you? Well, er, um...other than [a href=http://www.carmenelectra.com/main.htm]this[/a]!

Hey, I'm only human.