Court Hearing Tomorrow

[BellaDi]

I want to thank you in advance for reading this request.

Here is a basic overview. My ex and I have been divorced for four years. Everything was going fine until he got remarried. The new wife is not allowing me to see, talk to, or write my daughter. She will not give my daughter any cards or letters I send.

I have filed for contempt of court orders, and a request for modification of the exisiting orders. Being as they currently state reasonable and liberal, which my ex does not interpret the same way. He considers reasonable meaning I never get to see her.

Our court date is tomorrow. I have it very well documented as to the dates and instances he has denied visitations. As well, as affidavits and witnesses. I really do not care if he gets held in contempt, as long as the judge will approve a modification so that I can see my daughter.

Question #1.  Is there any last minute advice you can give me about going to court tomorrow. I am more nervous than words can explain. But, I have researched and prepared to the best of my ability.

Question #2. Is the judge gonna allow my ex and his new wife to go on about what a horrible person they think I am (i do not do drugs, have stable employment, stable long term relationship, etc etc), or is this going to be a simple this is why he is in contempt, and he defends why he is not?

Question #3. Where is a good source of case law history that I can review cases in my state of similiar cases, which would be SC.

[socrateaser]

>Question #1.  Is there any last minute advice you can give me
>about going to court tomorrow. I am more nervous than words
>can explain. But, I have researched and prepared to the best
>of my ability.

I can't give you any substantive advice, because I don't know what you've alleged or what evidence you have. However, I can give you some tips:

1. If you're not first on the docket, then I would go early and sit through as much of the court day as possible, so you feel familar with the routine and environment. You will get to hear the judge and how he/she thinks and rules and operates the courtroom.

2. Don't address the other party directly. Talk only to the judge.

3. Pretend that you're representing a stranger. That way you remain objective about the case. Let the other party get emotional about things, while you stay calm.

4. EVERYTHING is about the child's best interests, not yours. You don't want your visitation because it's your right -- you want it because the child should have a reasonable opportunity to have a relationship with both mother and father. The other parent isn't bad, evil, malicious, etc. -- the other parent has willfully and with conscious disregard violated the prior orders of the court.

>Question #2. Is the judge gonna allow my ex and his new wife
>to go on about what a horrible person they think I am (i do
>not do drugs, have stable employment, stable long term
>relationship, etc etc), or is this going to be a simple this
>is why he is in contempt, and he defends why he is not?

Well, now that gets a little complicated. You've stated that you're entitled to reasonable visitation. That's pretty vague, and frankly, I don't think you can prove contempt. The best that you can hope for is for the judge to make some more specific orders, so that if they're violated in the future, it will be possible for you to prove contempt.

Your burden of proof in a contempt hearing for actions that have taken place in the past, is beyond all reasonable doubt. This means that your evidence needs to be nearly indisputable. If it's not, you lose -- not because what you say isn't true, but rather because you didn't meet the required weight of evidence.

Most people cannot successfully prove contempt without an objective disinterested witness, such as a police officer who has personally witnessed the contempt taking place.

>Question #3. Where is a good source of case law history that I
>can review cases in my state of similiar cases, which would be
>SC.

//www.versuslaw.com $11.95 per month, no ongoing committment.

Good luck to you.

[BellaDi]

Thank you very much for all of your advice. As I had stated, I really do not care about winning or losing, making him look bad, or him getting fined. I simply want to see my daughter!  So, once again thank you for all of your help and answers. I figured it would be very hard for them to be found in contempt in court, but at least the judge will give consideration to my modification request.

I submitted a very specific request. Which outlines, weekends, mothers day, odd numbered years, even numbered years, pick up and drop off of child, clothing, phone calls, and school events. I think I covered everthing that I could.

Can't thank you enough for the service you provide!

[BellaDi]

Okay, so let me start by saying the best piece of advice anyone can ever give is do not go pro se if you absolutely do not have to! Scrape together every penny to get an attorney!!

I went to my contempt hearing today against my ex. Not only did the judge NOT even rule on the contempt, but he would not rule on the modification order either. Instead he stated that we all have to go talk to my daughters psychologist first. Which, I have nothing to hide, so that is fine with me! So long as the end result is my daughter and I get to have a relationship. There was no allegations of abuse, drug use, neglect, of alcohol abuse (cause there is none of those). Here are my two questions.

#1 The lawyer served me with an affidavit today that they were requesting I pay all attorney and court costs. Do I need to reply to this affidavit, or should the judge have ruled on this today?!

#2 The psychologist that they want us all to see has already been seeing my daughter for a year and a half, and is her school counselor. Therefore for the last year and half she has also had a working relationship with my ex and his new wife. Should I agree to see this psychologist, or request a new impartial one?

I am feeling very defeated, but refuse to give up the right to see my daughter! I feel that it will only do her severe emotional harm if she is not permitted to have a relationship that is loving and stable with both her dad, and I!!

Thanks again!

[socrateaser]

>#1 The lawyer served me with an affidavit today that they were
>requesting I pay all attorney and court costs. Do I need to
>reply to this affidavit, or should the judge have ruled on
>this today?!

If you don't think that you should have to pay attorney fees and costs, then you certainly need to respond to their motion that you pay. If you post the exact text of the motion/affidavit here, I can give you a response. But, I also need to see the minute orders from court today, so I know exactly how the court ruled on whatever it ruled on.

>#2 The psychologist that they want us all to see has already
>been seeing my daughter for a year and a half, and is her
>school counselor. Therefore for the last year and half she has
>also had a working relationship with my ex and his new wife.
>Should I agree to see this psychologist, or request a new
>impartial one?

Seems to me that the court has already ordered you to discuss the issue with the child's existing therapist, so while you can certainly request a new psychologist, I suggest that you try to form a relationship with the existing therapist and see if you can impress him/her with your overriding concern for the child's best interests.

>
>I am feeling very defeated, but refuse to give up the right to
>see my daughter! I feel that it will only do her severe
>emotional harm if she is not permitted to have a relationship
>that is loving and stable with both her dad, and I!!

Don't say I didn't warn ya that you were gonna lose.

[BellaDi]

I know that you warned me, and if I had the money I certainly would have gotten one!! You were right!! I will do whatever it takes now to get one.


So, #1 if I post the transcripts here, you can tell me what they actually mean?!

#2 I just found out that my childs psychologist is actually just her school guidance counselor..They never actually told the judge that today, just that she was a child psychologist? Not sure if that makes a difference.

[gipsy]

Socrateaser  
    #1  Is it Ok If some of us others post our support on this ?
  I will for now untill you say it's not Ok
 
   My atty explains the process you just went through , It's not a loss, it's a step across the courts process :
   My Atty explians " The judge doesn't know who to believe in these cases when there is He said She said testimony " AND " the judge does not go out and see what is true or not "
   Atty goes on to say " Thats why ( WASH STATE )  The court will want to appoint a Guardian Ad litem On Behalf of Minor child < And Untill the Guardian investigates and reports the findings to the court , the court will do very little , " " Because " Atty Say's , " The  Judge will not order the children to go to an AXE Murderers house and have KING 5 News at the court doing a report on that judge , So the judge relies on the , Investigation and recomendation of the GAL , SO It seems like a loss ,
   You are not useing a GAL but ,the opinion of the school counselor ,
    As Socrateaser and My atty said , Go More so to show you are a good parent and less so to show the other parent is bad :
  SOOO When the GAL reported that I should have supervised visits , My atty went to court with that report and I got supervised visits .
  Then when the GAL reported that The visit superviser said "I did well with My son and had toy's, food diapers ,ready to care for him ", My visits Moved to a normal schedule ,
   In Washington this is normal , You just don't want a report like one I heard of, that said " Dad was more concerned with his gangster friends meanwhile the child was unsupervised "
   Again Hope this is OK in your forum SOC<

[socrateaser]

>I know that you warned me, and if I had the money I certainly
>would have gotten one!! You were right!! I will do whatever it
>takes now to get one.
>
>
>So, #1 if I post the transcripts here, you can tell me what
>they actually mean?!

yes.

>
>#2 I just found out that my childs psychologist is actually
>just her school guidance counselor..They never actually told
>the judge that today, just that she was a child psychologist?
>Not sure if that makes a difference.

You should find out precisely what the counsellor's credentials are. I very seriously doubt that a guidance counselor is a licensed psyschologist, because the counselling job doesn't pay enough to afford a PH.D in psychology.

But, the real issue is why and what does the judge want you to discuss re the child with the therapist?

If I were representing you, I would be asking the court to order an evaluator to examine the parent-child relationship with each parent and make recommendations. And, this counselor is not qualified to make such an assessment, so what's probably happening is, that the judge has simply deflected the issue away from the court hoping that you will hire an attorney who will come back in with a useful motion re custody/visitation.

But, until I read the court's actual orders, and your existing orders, and the affidavit for attorney fees, I don't really know what your case is about.

You really need an attorney, and that's what you should be working on. I doubt that I'm gonna be much help, and I may just confuse you more.