Out of State move and visitation

[awaitingjustice]

Here is the question.  My child lives in NJ with my ex and the court orders are all out of NJ.  For a time I lived in New England and during that time , 2.5 years, my ex and I negotiated a visitation plan and it was entered into record with the courts.  Pretty standard, alt weekends, alt school vacations and alt holidays , mothers day with mom , fathers day with dad and each to spend time with child on his birthday.  Mid week visitation upon notice.

Since that order I have relocated to TX.

My ex and I are having many many issues and are in the midst of the third motion in 6 months (I have written to you on some of these issues before).

Today I rcvd her response to my motion and in it she makes the following statement, which to me sounds out in left field...can you tell me if she has any grounds to think in these terms:
(note I submitted to the court a version of the parenting plan that is avail on this website, which dealt directly with the issues we are facing)

....'I would ask that the court disregard the Plaintiff's proposed parenting plan.  The Plaintiff is trying to micro-manage time with our son.  Since the Plaintiff has moved to Texas, the visitation arrangements have been and currently are four weeks during summer recess and alternating Christmas recess, to occur in Texas.  If the Plaintiff moves closer to our son, visitation terms can be renegotiated as they have been in the past.'

My ex is under the impression first of all that my visitation has changed because I moved, is this an accurate viewpoint?

No change to visitation has ever been filed, so I am under the impression my visitation stands as ordered, specifically alternating school breaks and holidays as well as 4 weeks consecutive or non consecutive and (nowhere in the order does it specify in what state visitation is to take place)

My ex has continually manipulated the courts words, which is why I am asking for the parenting plan to be put into effect- so she and I can have clear expectations of what is expected and when and what the penalty will be for failure to comply (i.e. contempt)

Am I expecting too much?

Am I misunderstanding the court and how they function?

Need to respond to her in 2 days to meet my deadline- THANKS!

[socrateaser]

>My ex is under the impression first of all that my visitation
>has changed because I moved, is this an accurate viewpoint?

The orders are what they are -- nothing has legally changed, except that you can't possibly exercise alternate weekend visitation, which is an argument for more child support to offset the reduced time you spend with the child.

>Am I expecting too much?

A modification of the current orders is reasonable in view of the fact that you cannot possibly continue to follow the existing order (unless you have your own Gulfstream jet). However, you will not get more time to offset the time that you are voluntarily relinquishing as the result of your move. If you were getting four weeks in summer, then that's what you'll continue to receive, only now, you will also get to pay any increase in the transportation costs incident to your exercise of visitation, as your actions are the reason why the costs are greater.

>Am I misunderstanding the court and how they function?

This question suggests a certain amount of anger towards the system that is counterproductive. The system is what it is, so get over it.

Don't go to court with a chip on your shoulder, or the judge will just knock it off for you. Keep things framed as to how they affect the child and you will be on stronger ground. As soon as you start making it all about you, that's when the court will pound you into the sand.

[awaitingjustice]

>
>>Am I misunderstanding the court and how they function?
>
>This question suggests a certain amount of anger towards the
>system that is counterproductive. The system is what it is, so
>get over it.
>
>Don't go to court with a chip on your shoulder, or the judge
>will just knock it off for you. Keep things framed as to how
>they affect the child and you will be on stronger ground. As
>soon as you start making it all about you, that's when the
>court will pound you into the sand.


Thank you for your constant candor- I appreciate the fresh eyes on the subject and although I'd like to think I keep it about the child, I too see, when I start to slip over to the dark side!!  That is why I try to write these things 3, 4, 5, or even 10 times-rough draft style, before I submit a final copy- I edit edit edit- often from 30 pages down to just 3 or 4...It often just feels good to write the initial one- with everything pouring out- and then edit it down to facts and how it relates to my son- once I get it all out of my system.  But again- Thanks for your honesty.

One last question- Just noticed on the certification of defendant that she has indicated the WRONG docket number.  Will this throw her response out of the system???  Do I need to contact the court directly to find out what this means???

Thanks-

[socrateaser]

>>
>>>Am I misunderstanding the court and how they function?
>>
>>This question suggests a certain amount of anger towards the
>>system that is counterproductive. The system is what it is,
>so
>>get over it.
>>
>>Don't go to court with a chip on your shoulder, or the judge
>>will just knock it off for you. Keep things framed as to how
>>they affect the child and you will be on stronger ground. As
>>soon as you start making it all about you, that's when the
>>court will pound you into the sand.
>
>
>Thank you for your constant candor- I appreciate the fresh
>eyes on the subject and although I'd like to think I keep it
>about the child, I too see, when I start to slip over to the
>dark side!!  That is why I try to write these things 3, 4, 5,
>or even 10 times-rough draft style, before I submit a final
>copy- I edit edit edit- often from 30 pages down to just 3 or
>4...It often just feels good to write the initial one- with
>everything pouring out- and then edit it down to facts and how
>it relates to my son- once I get it all out of my system.  But
>again- Thanks for your honesty.
>
>One last question- Just noticed on the certification of
>defendant that she has indicated the WRONG docket number.
>Will this throw her response out of the system???  Do I need
>to contact the court directly to find out what this means???

If it's only wrong on the certification, but correct on the response itself, then the clerk probably won't even notice the error. If it's wrong everywhere, the clerk will punch in the file number and see a different set of party names, and that will cause him/her to try to figure out the discrepancy.

Or, if the clerk's in a rush and you're in a really busy jurisdiction, the response could end up in the wrong file and thus not read by the judge, or it could even be returned by the court as incorrect as to form.

The one thing that won't happen is the evidence contained in the pleading will not be excluded simply because of a clerical error. The court's duty is to do fair play and substantial justice, and a pleading that is incorrect in form will be considered, even though a party may be fined for the additional time wasted by the court in attempting to work around the problem (whatever that may be).

[awaitingjustice]

Here is the question.  My child lives in NJ with my ex and the court orders are all out of NJ.  For a time I lived in New England and during that time , 2.5 years, my ex and I negotiated a visitation plan and it was entered into record with the courts.  Pretty standard, alt weekends, alt school vacations and alt holidays , mothers day with mom , fathers day with dad and each to spend time with child on his birthday.  Mid week visitation upon notice.

Since that order I have relocated to TX.

My ex and I are having many many issues and are in the midst of the third motion in 6 months (I have written to you on some of these issues before).

Today I rcvd her response to my motion and in it she makes the following statement, which to me sounds out in left field...can you tell me if she has any grounds to think in these terms:
(note I submitted to the court a version of the parenting plan that is avail on this website, which dealt directly with the issues we are facing)

....'I would ask that the court disregard the Plaintiff's proposed parenting plan.  The Plaintiff is trying to micro-manage time with our son.  Since the Plaintiff has moved to Texas, the visitation arrangements have been and currently are four weeks during summer recess and alternating Christmas recess, to occur in Texas.  If the Plaintiff moves closer to our son, visitation terms can be renegotiated as they have been in the past.'

My ex is under the impression first of all that my visitation has changed because I moved, is this an accurate viewpoint?

No change to visitation has ever been filed, so I am under the impression my visitation stands as ordered, specifically alternating school breaks and holidays as well as 4 weeks consecutive or non consecutive and (nowhere in the order does it specify in what state visitation is to take place)

My ex has continually manipulated the courts words, which is why I am asking for the parenting plan to be put into effect- so she and I can have clear expectations of what is expected and when and what the penalty will be for failure to comply (i.e. contempt)

Am I expecting too much?

Am I misunderstanding the court and how they function?

Need to respond to her in 2 days to meet my deadline- THANKS!

[socrateaser]

>My ex is under the impression first of all that my visitation
>has changed because I moved, is this an accurate viewpoint?

The orders are what they are -- nothing has legally changed, except that you can't possibly exercise alternate weekend visitation, which is an argument for more child support to offset the reduced time you spend with the child.

>Am I expecting too much?

A modification of the current orders is reasonable in view of the fact that you cannot possibly continue to follow the existing order (unless you have your own Gulfstream jet). However, you will not get more time to offset the time that you are voluntarily relinquishing as the result of your move. If you were getting four weeks in summer, then that's what you'll continue to receive, only now, you will also get to pay any increase in the transportation costs incident to your exercise of visitation, as your actions are the reason why the costs are greater.

>Am I misunderstanding the court and how they function?

This question suggests a certain amount of anger towards the system that is counterproductive. The system is what it is, so get over it.

Don't go to court with a chip on your shoulder, or the judge will just knock it off for you. Keep things framed as to how they affect the child and you will be on stronger ground. As soon as you start making it all about you, that's when the court will pound you into the sand.

[awaitingjustice]

>
>>Am I misunderstanding the court and how they function?
>
>This question suggests a certain amount of anger towards the
>system that is counterproductive. The system is what it is, so
>get over it.
>
>Don't go to court with a chip on your shoulder, or the judge
>will just knock it off for you. Keep things framed as to how
>they affect the child and you will be on stronger ground. As
>soon as you start making it all about you, that's when the
>court will pound you into the sand.


Thank you for your constant candor- I appreciate the fresh eyes on the subject and although I'd like to think I keep it about the child, I too see, when I start to slip over to the dark side!!  That is why I try to write these things 3, 4, 5, or even 10 times-rough draft style, before I submit a final copy- I edit edit edit- often from 30 pages down to just 3 or 4...It often just feels good to write the initial one- with everything pouring out- and then edit it down to facts and how it relates to my son- once I get it all out of my system.  But again- Thanks for your honesty.

One last question- Just noticed on the certification of defendant that she has indicated the WRONG docket number.  Will this throw her response out of the system???  Do I need to contact the court directly to find out what this means???

Thanks-

[socrateaser]

>>
>>>Am I misunderstanding the court and how they function?
>>
>>This question suggests a certain amount of anger towards the
>>system that is counterproductive. The system is what it is,
>so
>>get over it.
>>
>>Don't go to court with a chip on your shoulder, or the judge
>>will just knock it off for you. Keep things framed as to how
>>they affect the child and you will be on stronger ground. As
>>soon as you start making it all about you, that's when the
>>court will pound you into the sand.
>
>
>Thank you for your constant candor- I appreciate the fresh
>eyes on the subject and although I'd like to think I keep it
>about the child, I too see, when I start to slip over to the
>dark side!!  That is why I try to write these things 3, 4, 5,
>or even 10 times-rough draft style, before I submit a final
>copy- I edit edit edit- often from 30 pages down to just 3 or
>4...It often just feels good to write the initial one- with
>everything pouring out- and then edit it down to facts and how
>it relates to my son- once I get it all out of my system.  But
>again- Thanks for your honesty.
>
>One last question- Just noticed on the certification of
>defendant that she has indicated the WRONG docket number.
>Will this throw her response out of the system???  Do I need
>to contact the court directly to find out what this means???

If it's only wrong on the certification, but correct on the response itself, then the clerk probably won't even notice the error. If it's wrong everywhere, the clerk will punch in the file number and see a different set of party names, and that will cause him/her to try to figure out the discrepancy.

Or, if the clerk's in a rush and you're in a really busy jurisdiction, the response could end up in the wrong file and thus not read by the judge, or it could even be returned by the court as incorrect as to form.

The one thing that won't happen is the evidence contained in the pleading will not be excluded simply because of a clerical error. The court's duty is to do fair play and substantial justice, and a pleading that is incorrect in form will be considered, even though a party may be fined for the additional time wasted by the court in attempting to work around the problem (whatever that may be).