right of refusal

[Bradley]

In texas we have a 48 hour right of refusal that clearly states that each party has to notify the other if we need a babysitter for the child for more than 48 hours. This basically gives the other parent a right to take custody of the child after 48 hours instead of having the child at a sitter or grandparent.
It is Christmas Break and the BM year for the first week, she drops my daughter off with her great grandmother for 3 nights and then drops her off at  her grandmothers house for 2 more nights, never asking us for right of refusal.
1. What can we file for contempt of court?
2. What do we need to do to prove it?
The child is 7.
Thanks!

[socrateaser]

>1. What can we file for contempt of court?

You can file that the other parent has willfully and with conscious disregard, violated the valid and enforcable court orders re right of first refusal.

But, I doubt you'll be able to prove your case. Unfortunately, these sorts of well meaning laws are mostly lipservice to the public, because they are impossible to enforce in practice.

>2. What do we need to do to prove it?

Contempt must be proven beyond reasonable doubt, and the other parent cannot be compelled to testify. So, all of your evidence must be from someone other than your opponent. Will the grandmother testify against her child? If so, you can prove contempt, if not, then you're gonna need what you don't have, i.e., a private investigator with a video recorder who will testify to seeing your ex drop the kids off at the grandmother's. Otherwise, you're wasting your time.

You can file a motion for enforcement and clarification of the existing orders and ask the court to specifically order the other parent to comply with the first refusal right. This may cause the other parent to think twice before not contacting you first in the future, but if she doesn't, then it's still up to you to prove your case for contempt, and frankly it's near impossible unless you can get the other parent to admit what she did after the fact, in writing or on tape or in front of a completely disinterested third party witness, like a store clerk or a police officer, etc.

[NeverGiveUp]

Not to butt in but :-) I've been there for this one.  The other parent simply states that they did not NEED the service, "the kids were just visiting with their grandparnets for a few days".  

Save yourself the agony, the cash, the turmoil, and most of all the, "no children, you can't go to grandma's or your father will take me to court BS".... Just my opinion but I think it's better to focus on the time you get/want with your kids.  ie, if you want to take them during some period when they will be off from school. Plan ahead and send a certified letter asking.  If the other parent sends back a reply saying, sorry, they are with (pick an alternate to you of the day)".  Then you can start compiling evidence.  If it happens twice it means nothing.  If it happens 20x MAYBE you get a sympathetic ear from the judge. Maybe you get told to go soak your head...