Exchange times

[wysiwyg]

Soc,

IN here, latest court order states "At the mid-way point during Christmas, the child shall be exchanged at 8:00 am on the day of the mid-way point." This was becasue there was contention as to exchange times brought up in court by BM.  There was no other testimony or situations where transfer times would be an issue that would have been made to an order.  

Question #1:  We have a situation where mother has instructed me to pick up the child at somewhere between 1 and 4 AM.  How can I state to mother that I believe that given the intention of the courts orders - that I believe the transfer time should be at 8 AM and not the middle of the night?

[socrateaser]

>Soc,
>
>IN here, latest court order states "At the mid-way point
>during Christmas, the child shall be exchanged at 8:00 am on
>the day of the mid-way point." This was becasue there was
>contention as to exchange times brought up in court by BM.
>There was no other testimony or situations where transfer
>times would be an issue that would have been made to an order.
>
>
>Question #1:  We have a situation where mother has instructed
>me to pick up the child at somewhere between 1 and 4 AM.  How
>can I state to mother that I believe that given the intention
>of the courts orders - that I believe the transfer time should
>be at 8 AM and not the middle of the night?

The other parent has no authority to "instruct" you to do anything. You are simply submitting to her control. If your court orders don't expressly say something, then the court will look to what is "reasaonble" under the totality of the circumstances, and in any case, lack of an express court order makes a contempt finding legally impossible.

The way that you asked me the question is sufficiently clear so that the mother should be able to understand your position. If she doesn't agree to it, your only recourse is to seek a clarification from the court.

Don't try to "convince" the other parent that your view is correct, because all that shows is that you are trying to control her, and consequently both of you are using slightly different methods of trying to maintain control over each other.

State what you want and why, and if the other parent will not agree, you must decide to either accept the other parents terms in the particular circumstance, or go to court and ask the judge to resolve the dispute.

Those are the only alternatives.

[wysiwyg]

I have suggested an alternative weekend, but she has failed to respond to my email, I called her, she hung up on me, so I sent a certified letter to which she has also ignored.  FYI - BM has had 4 months to discuss and or mediate this issue but has kept silent.

#1 Could i simply state that the courts orders are that we have alternate weekends from 6 PM Fri to 6 PM Sun, not 1 AM ish on Sun AM, and that in absensce of an alternative agreements (courts order also states ncp should make resonable efforts to accomodate childs extracuicular activities) she has no authority to take away my weekend - unless I agree otherwise and that I have attempted to make resonable efforts to accomodate the childs needs to which she has ignored?

Thanks so very much.

[socrateaser]

>I have suggested an alternative weekend, but she has failed
>to respond to my email, I called her, she hung up on me, so I
>sent a certified letter to which she has also ignored.  FYI -
>BM has had 4 months to discuss and or mediate this issue but
>has kept silent.
>
>#1 Could i simply state that the courts orders are that we
>have alternate weekends from 6 PM Fri to 6 PM Sun, not 1 AM
>ish on Sun AM, and that in absensce of an alternative
>agreements (courts order also states ncp should make resonable
>efforts to accomodate childs extracuicular activities) she has
>no authority to take away my weekend - unless I agree
>otherwise and that I have attempted to make resonable efforts
>to accomodate the childs needs to which she has ignored?

Like I already said, you can state whatever you want, but if it isn't expressed precisely in your court orders you cannot enforce your interpretatin of the court orders, so as a practical matter you will only be making yourself feel better.

The ONLY way to enforce your interpretation of this ambiguity in your current orders is to seeka clarification from the court, and then if the mother refuses to act in accordance, sue for contempt.