Motion not served on me, order signed

[IceMountain]

State:  Iowa

My ex and I split up last month.  We have a daughter that is 2 1/2.  We initially agreed to 50/50 with a week on week off rotation.  Since the seperation my daughter has been with me 72% of the time without any formal orders in place.  My ex has never taken her on a weekend.  She does not call to check on her or talk to her when she is with me.  

A couple weeks ago my ex decided that she was afraid I would not return my daugter after my 'week' with her and said she would grant me only Thursday to Sunday every other week starting that week.  I picked up my daugter that Thursday and I had her until the following Wednesday.  Three days later I had her back again.  She is still with me and is scheduled to go back to her mom's house on Sunday.

My ex met with a lawyer last week and called to tell me that she was having divorce papers drawn up and that I should expect to be served.   I called her lawyer today and offered to stop at his office and sign the papers.  The receptionist informed me that the papers would be filed with the court today and I could stop in the afternoon to sign.

The papers included the divorce petition, a motion for temp custody and an order signed by the judge granting my ex temp custody.  Her basis for asking for temp custody was that she claimed I did not have a permanent home and that I apparently threatened to take my daughter out of state.  (I am staying with my mom until I can get a place of my own)

The motion was dated 8/22 and the order was signed 8/24 by the judge.  There is a hearing scheduled for 9/14 for temp visitation and child support.

1.  Is it 'normal' practice for these types of orders to be signed and granted without a hearing?

2.  How would you suggest I proceed?

3.  What type of evidence do I need to prove my daughter has been with me?

 

[socrateaser]

>1.  Is it 'normal' practice for these types of orders to be
>signed and granted without a hearing?

Yep. Sure is.

>
>2.  How would you suggest I proceed?

I could be incredibly sarcastic right here. Those who have been on this forum for a long time are all shaking their respective heads and rolling their eyes back, knowing that you have just blown all your leverage, by not getting a lawyer and doing to your ex, exactly what she has just done to you, before she had the opportunity to do it to you.

Rule #1 of family law: Whoever has the kids when they go to court wins everything.

Sigh...the young never learn until they get old. Oh well, job security for me.

>
>3.  What type of evidence do I need to prove my daughter has
>been with me?

Objective witnesses, not family, receipts for food, video would be really great, you could offer to take a polygraph.

The good news is that this is Iowa, which strongly presumes joint custody. Seriously, though get a video recorder, get a newspaper and show it on camera with your child every day that you possibly can. If you don't have a job, don't get one, spend every waking moment with the kid.

It's probably too late, though, because your ex has been primed by her attorney to keep the kid away from you as much as possible now, so as to all but eliminate your chances of getting substantial custody.

You have a real tough road ahead now.

You need an attorney, really bad, because you're gonna get creamed without one. I've been doing this for a very long time, and I can always tell when someone doesn't "get it." This is a war, and you've just lost Pearl Harbor.

[IceMountain]

Soc,
Thanks for the advice.  'I' tried to convince 'myself' to do what you said 'I' should have, but 'I' thought it better to lay low and continue to take my daughter whenever she called.  

Thanks for the harsh response.  Maybe when 'I' read your response it will finally sink in what needs to be done.  

[socrateaser]

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