She does not have permission......

[melissa3]

Dear Soc,

I live in MA, ex and my child now live in NH

The new judgment that was just ordered gives my ex sole legal and physical custody of our 6 yr old child. I must complete a substance abuse evaluation and I have to set-up supervised visitation.

Before trial, ex stated she wanted to move to her home state, 2 hrs away, with her new BF. I did not agree to her move. She filed a motion to have the topic addressed at trial, but the judge denied the motion.

We have not gone back to court for relocation as of yet, however my ex has just moved.

I cannot get a hold of her, since she has given me no forwarding address or phone number. However, on the Internet, I found her name is now currently listed at the same address as her boyfriends. Also, I have witnesses who recently saw a moving trailer at her home.


Questions:

1. What do I do to have my child returned to this state?

2. I have been desperately trying to prove lack of cooperation and PAS on my ex's part; will my ex's move without permission help my argument at all?

3. Any other suggestions on how to handle this?


Thank you

[socrateaser]

>Questions:
>
>1. What do I do to have my child returned to this state?

Unless there is an express order restraining the child's relocation from his/her residence, then a parent with sole physical and legal custody can move without the court's consent.

If there was a temporary order that restrained the child's relocation, that temporary order is of no further force or effect, after final judgment, unless (1) the judgment expressly states that prior temporary orders shall remain in full force and effect, or (2) the judgment expressly restrains the child's relocation.

>
>2. I have been desperately trying to prove lack of cooperation
>and PAS on my ex's part; will my ex's move without permission
>help my argument at all?

Depends on whether or not she has actually violated the court orders. If so, then yes, if not, then no.

>3. Any other suggestions on how to handle this?

Do what the court says re substance abuse, and establish a consistent record of visitation with the child. Nothing else will cause the court to improve your time with the child.

Or, resolve yourself that you will be paying support for the next X years and that you no longer care what happens to the child. It's just a bill, and you pay it -- other than that, the child is no longer your concern.

This latter choice is an undesirable one, but sometimes it is the only way to move on with one's own life.

[melissa3]

Dear Soc,

After driving by her house, I've found my ex already moved. She has left without leaving behind a forwarding address or phone number.

Question:

1. What can I legally do now to see my daughter again?



Thank you.

[socrateaser]

>Dear Soc,
>
>After driving by her house, I've found my ex already moved.
>She has left without leaving behind a forwarding address or
>phone number.
>
>Question:
>
>1. What can I legally do now to see my daughter again?

You're entitled to visitation according to the terms of the order. If your ex's move interferes with your rights, then you can file a motion for contempt, and you should.

Unless your ex has a restraining order preventing you from knowing her location, she is obligated to keep the court and you apprised of her address. By failing to do so, she is also in contempt of court.

The difficulty is that you will have trouble serving her with legal process to appear, and you may have to do so via publication, after which you may be required to get a bench warrant for her appearance.

She will want her support money, so the state collection unit will know where she is located, and as long as you are not restrained from knowing her address, then you can obtain it via subpoena.

This is all a giant pain, but the first thing to do is try to locate her. If you cannot, then as soon as the next visitation passes and she doesn't appear, get loads of objective evidence (testimony from a disinterested third party who was with you when you tried to exercise visitation and could not), and then file their affidavit swearing to these facts, and start the contempt process.

[melissa3]

Dear Soc,

Actually, after re-reading the court order, I cannot be sure if I have visitation or not. The judgment says I am to follow "the temporary order from last September" which orders me to an evaluation and supervised visits. But the judgment also says:  "there is no order for visitation at this time."

Questions:

1. Where the judgment says, "there is no order for visitation" is it referring to a "normal" visitation schedule?

OR

2. Am I not entitled to supervised visitation either?


Thank you

[socrateaser]

>Dear Soc,
>
>Actually, after re-reading the court order, I cannot be sure
>if I have visitation or not. The judgment says I am to follow
>"the temporary order from last September" which orders me to
>an evaluation and supervised visits. But the judgment also
>says:  "there is no order for visitation at this time."
>
>Questions:
>
>1. Where the judgment says, "there is no order for visitation"
>is it referring to a "normal" visitation schedule?
>
>OR
>
>2. Am I not entitled to supervised visitation either?

The court is reserving the visitation issue until it determines whether or not you should be entitled to a typical, unsupervised parenting arrangement. So, yes, you are entitled to the supervised visitation as described in the temporary orders.

If you want to demonstrate that you are a preferred caretaker for the child and that the other parent is attempting to cut you off completely, then you can't let this slide. You must do precisely what the court orders say and if your ex does not, then you move for contempt immediately.

When the court finds that your ex has vanished, the judge will be seriously pissed and that will get you an advantage that you would otherwise not have. Of course, your ex will suddenly claim that you were abusing her and/or the child, but if you act first, then this will be obvious to the court as a diversion from what's really happening -- which is that your ex wants to raise the child alone, and convert you to nothing more than her purse.